Page 88 of Fear Me Not

I swipe the screen, but nothing happens. “I don’t understand.”

“It’s probably the weather, like I said, but you might find you get a bar or two pop up some time in the next few days.”

Understanding dawns on me. “You put something on my phone that blocked the service?”

“I was protecting us, Aspen. You didn’t want to be connected to the outside world either. You were happy it just being us, in our own little bubble.”

My jaw drops. “Oh, my God, Blake. You can’t keep trying to control me like this. Don’t you see how fucking manipulative you are?”

“I am who I am. I won’t make excuses for that. I didn’t want you contacting anyone on the outside, or anyone to be able to track you down using your cell, so it was a precaution I took.”

I blink down at the phone. “So when I do find a bar or two, I might have messages from Tobias on it? Messages where he was telling me that he was coming to visit? You realize I could have stopped him? I could have told him I didn’t want him here, then none of that… awfulness would have happened.”

“I can’t go back and change the past, Aspen. You know I wish things had happened differently, but what’s done is done.”

I’m shaking from the adrenaline. Why should I have expected any different from him? I know what kind of man he is—dominating, ruthless, powerful. Windridge Hall is his domain, and the rest of us are just supposed to fall in line. But he’s also tender, and protective, and sexy as hell.

He wrenches my emotions in one direction and then the other, forever keeping me on my toes. I should tell him I can’t deal with this anymore, that it’s all too much, but as much as I hate the things he does, I also can’t seem to live without him.

He presses his lips together and gives his head a slight shake. “I know it doesn’t feel like it, but everything I do is because I love this family, Pen. Because I love you.”

“Well, I don’t love you. I hate you!” I cry, even though I don’t hate him at all. “I hate you for bringing me here, knowing what this place was. I hate you for always thinking you know better!”

49

BLAKE

She comes flying at me, fists raised, but she’s no match for my size and strength. Even as she tries to batter at my chest, I hold her wrists in both hands, keeping her at bay.

“You’re everything to me,” I tell her. “That’s the only reason I do what I do.”

“No, I’m not. Your precious sons are, and I’m just some stupid girl you brought for your own entertainment.” Tears shine in her eyes.

“That’s bullshit. Can’t you see, Pen? It’s not about putting one of us above the others. It’s all of us now. All four of us, in this together, working as a team and taking care of each other so we make it through winter with our bodies and our sanities intact.”

She stares at me, her lower lip trembling, her wrists braced against my grip as though she’s still trying to break free. Then her gaze travels from my eyes to my mouth, and she launches at me.

Our mouths crash together like we’re starved for one another, filled with forbidden desire and a tormented whirlwind of emotions. Her tongue slides over mine, and I taste the honied sweetness of her. We duel, and I kiss her back harder, her wrists still in my clenched fists. I never want to let her go.

I’m instantly hard for her. I jam my hips against her, crushing my rapidly hardening erection against her soft belly. I need her to know how much I want her.

I break the kiss and press my forehead to hers, gazing down at her.

“Fucking hell, sweet girl, look at what you do to me. You make me so hard. You’re the only one I want.”

I know I’m sharing her with my sons, and I’m okay with that. It was what I brought her here for. Admittedly, I hadn’t anticipated the depths of my feelings for her. Her presence has tortured me in so many different ways. I’ve never felt this kind of anguish for anyone before.

They say love should be calm and gentle. Safe. But it’s the opposite with her. It’s tortured and consuming and dangerous. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I want to touch you,” she gasps, “but you need to let go of my wrists.”

I release her but only for a second. My hands go to her narrow waist, pinning her in place as I capture her mouth with mine once again. Her hands thread around my neck, fingers lacing in my hair. Teeth nipping. Tongues clashing. Lips kissing until they’re swollen and bruised.

She might be messed up about how she feels about me, but I’m not. I know how much I want her. I want her to be a part of this family, however fucked up it is.

Catching her, I lift her onto the edge of my bed and drop to my knees in front of her. She’s wearing only loose sweatpants, and it takes me seconds to rid her of them.

I bury my face between her thighs, inhaling the sweet muskiness of her arousal. Her fingers knot in my hair, pulling at the strands as I nuzzle her, my nose pressed to her clit, my mouth above the damp material of her panties. I hook them to one side and cover her pussy with my mouth. My tongue finds the swollen nub of her clit, and I lick and suck and flick until her thighs are trembling.