Page 85 of Fear Me Not

“Oh.” The corners of her mouth downturn.

I hate that I’ve disappointed her.

I sit on the edge of my bed and pat the spot next to me so she joins me. A question sits on the tip of my tongue that I can’t ignore.

“Why did you ask Levi to hike you out of here?”

She shrugs. “I guess I was just exploring my options, but that was a while ago now, Dov. Things have changed. Things between us have changed. If I had the option to leave now, I’m honestly not sure I’d take it.”

“Maybe you should.”

Her head jerks up. “You don’t mean that.”

“What if this place becomes too dangerous for you? It’s better that you should leave and be safe.”

She takes my hand, and her touch makes my heart ache. “But what about you? What about us?”

“What have I got to offer you? I’m nothing. I’ll never be able to provide for you, to offer you a home. A family.”

Her hand moves from my mine to touch my face, her fingers resting softly on my cheek.

“You’re my family.”

I hang my head, unable to meet her eye. “You know what I mean. Could I be trusted not to hurt a child, if we were to have one?”

“I’d trust you,” she says. “And anyway, what have I got to offer you?”

I raise my chin. “Everything. You are everything to me. All I need from you is to be near you. If I have you in my life, to be able to see you and touch you and taste you, then I will die a happy man.”

“Oh, Dov, can’t you see that I feel the same? That’s all I need from you, too. Just your presence is enough. And besides, I know you’d protect me. You’d position yourself between me and the rest of the world, even though it would be hard for you.”

“I would. I’d die for you without hesitation, if I had to.”

“I would never want that, but I believe you. Do you know how important it is for me to know you would put me above all else? That’s love, Dov. That means everything to me.”

She leans into me, and our foreheads touch, our noses brushing. Our hands are entwined.

I could stay this way forever, but I’m not naïve enough to believe that’s going to happen.

Not when everything is pitted against us.

48

ASPEN

This man has never made me feel as though I’m anything other than his whole world. When I came into his life, he was like a shadow, barely making a presence in his own home, but now he’s real. He’s unlike anyone else I’ve ever met. His heart is open and pure, and he’s willing to love without playing games. He reminds me of his father, but without the years and experiences that have made him so jaded.

“I don’t want to be without my father or Levi, either,” he says. “I need them, and they need me, I think.”

I offer a small smile. “We all need each other, and that’s just how it should be. We’re a family, and families stick together.”

Maybe our setup isn’t exactly typical. Most families don’t have the female partner having sex with all three of the men, but who cares? It works for us, and that’s what matters.

“There is something I have to tell you,” he says.

“What it is?”

He stands and goes to his computer and wiggles the mouse. A login screen appears and his fingers fly across the keyboard. A new screen opens on one of the monitors. It’s a Google search engine.