Page 24 of Fear Me Not

“None of us wanted to give you a reason to leave.”

“So you admit that you made me a prisoner here?”

“You stayed willingly until that point. I didn’t see you asking any of us to stop.”

I shake my head at him. “I'm your best friend's daughter. Didn't that make you stop and think for just one second if you’re doing the right thing? Your best friend's daughter!” I repeat, trying to drive home my point. Gone is the time when I hadn’t wanted him to think of me that way. “And the first moment you saw me, all grown up, the first thing that popped into your head was whether you'd fuck me or not. Do you know how messed up that is?”

He holds my eye. “And what did you think the first time you saw me again?”

I catch my breath, the memory of that moment flooding back.

“Pen?” he prompts. “Answer me honestly. When I took your hand across the table in that coffee shop, what were you thinking?”

My cheeks burn with heat, and I glance away.

It’s his turn to scoff. “Yeah, I didn't think I got that wrong. You were thinking about what it would be like to fuck me, too. And you know what, Pen? You’d just buried your father. So don't go around acting like you're some kind of holier-than-thou princess, because we both know you're not.”

His words shock me, and I snatch in a breath.

“Maybe I'm not holier than thou, but I still didn't think about handing you over to my family members, for fuck's sake.”

“No, but you used me at night when you thought I wasn't aware of it.”

I go still, my feet rooting to the floor. “What?”

“You put my hands on your body and you made yourself climax, thinking I was asleep. Do you believe that's the right way to behave?”

I shouldn’t be embarrassed or ashamed about what I did after what he’s done, but I still am.

“I didn't know you were aware of that,” I mumble, unable to meet his eye.

“Of course I was, Pen. Do you have any idea how hard it was for me that night, not to roll you onto your back and fuck you in that bed? Because I came so fucking close to doing that. But you know what? I held myself back, because I thought it was the right thing to do.”

I swallow hard. “You held yourself back because you were saving me for your sons.”

“We both know that's not true. I’d wanted you to be ready for it. And now I believe you are. I believe you’re ready for all three of us and whatever else this place brings on. I can see by the way your eyes dilate and your lips part that a bit of you is excited about the prospect, too.”

I shake my head. “It should sicken you, the idea of me being with your sons as well as you.”

“Why should it? Because society has told you that I should feel a certain way? That’s not how life really works. We’re a whole complex mess of feelings and emotions. Who is to say what’s a right or wrong way of feeling?” He lets out a sigh. “Come on, Aspen. Tell me, how I can make this right again?”

I square my shoulders. “Tell me how the hell I get out of here.”

“That’s impossible.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“I warned you before you came here that access to the hotel wasn’t great and that we’d be cut off when the snow fell. You can’t accuse me of being dishonest about that. You chose to stay.”

He’s right; I did. I’d chosen to stay because I’d believed I’d found a place I could call home and men I’d started to think of as my family. But one lie—one huge lie—had changed all of that, except I’d left it too late to be able to leave.

“Then how do I contact the outside world? Where can I pick up service on my cell, or how can we get the Wi-Fi working again?”

He lets out a sigh of frustration and rakes his hand through his hair. “You can’t, Pen, and there’s no chance of the Wi-Fi working again until after winter.”

“And in the case of an emergency?”

“We deal with it, just like we dealt with you after you decided to wrap my truck around a tree off the mountain.”