Page 102 of Familiar Things New

Hugging himself with one of his arms to shield the largest part of his chest, Edwin reached out to take the strip of binding cloth from Andrew and then lifted his hand to caress Andrew’s cheek, stroking Andrew’s skin with the backs of his fingers.

“Thank you for helping me,” Edwin said warmly. “I know it probably seems like you didn’t help, but I promise you did. Because for a little while there, I was able to focus on something other than my insecurities. Instead, I was thinking about your ridiculousness. And about my love for you.”

Edwin tried to smile—to reassure and comfort the sweet man before him. Thankfully, he must have succeeded. Because Andrew smiled back.

“Should I turn around, then? Or maybe close my eyes?” Andrew asked.

“Yes, I think that would be best,” Edwin replied, his voice still tight and small.

Immediately, Andrew slammed his eyes shut and proceeded to spin around on his heel, which then made him stumble forward a step. Andrew may have been clumsy, but the theatrics of his rapid spin seemed to have been purposeful, and witnessing it helped calm some of Edwin’s unease, loosening the knot of shame and self-pity that had lodged itself in his throat. Feeling a bit less horrible, Edwin resumed the removal of his binding. Once he was finished, he slipped his nightshirt back on, swiftly pulling it over his head and then refastening the buttons.

“Ready,” he said when he was done.

Andrew faced him, and a smile split his face the moment the two men locked eyes. Then, Andrew took Edwin’s hand and climbed onto the bed, coaxing Edwin to follow. As soon as they were both settled, the blankets pulled up to their shoulders, Edwin threw a leg over Andrew’s hips to urge him close. Chuckling, Andrew wrapped Edwin up in his arms, and when their chests touched, Edwin’s heart stuttered.

Even though Andrew had yet to see him, and even though there were layers of fabric between them, too, the intimacy of it was still . . . oh, God, it was incredible. Absolutely incredible.

“Good night, Edwin,” Andrew murmured sleepily.

Andrew’s fingers moved through Edwin’s hair, and Edwin let out a contended sigh.

“Good night, my Andrew.”

***

Edwin was standing in front of one of the large windows in Andrew’s studio, looking at the falling snow while he chewed on his fingernails. Already, more than two feet must have accumulated, though Edwin couldn’t be sure, exactly. He and Andrew had brought a ruler outside that morning, and there had been over eighteen inches by then. At least six more must have fallen since, seeing as it had reached two o’clock in the afternoon and the snow had yet to let up, even for a short stretch of time.

Frowning, Edwin pressed a hand against the window pane, the cold glass a welcome distraction from the occasional pangs of guilt he felt about staying at Andrew’s for so long. Hopefully Agnes was managing the household well enough on her own, but there was always so much to do—cleaning the lamps, several of which were overdue for it; shoveling more coal into the furnace (exactly the thing that Andrew was preoccupied with at that very moment); emptying the ashes from the oven, which was her least favorite chore; and other assorted tasks involving cooking or cleaning or fixing various things around the home.

Ever since their father had passed, Edwin had been the one to take care of most of those things, save for the cooking and some of the cleaning. Completing the bulk of the chores was his responsibility, after all, as head of the household. And, really, he made so little money working as a nurseryman compared to what his father had made as a tailor. Being responsible for most household things seemed like the least he could do.

And so, now Edwin couldn’t help but worry that Agnes might be feeling overwhelmed by everything that needed to be done. Or resentful that Edwin had left her in charge for so long. He really hoped not, though. He was having so much fun being snowed in with Andrew. More fun than he would have ever thought possible.

It was a miraculous thing, really, to be able to be himself—wholly and completely himself—in the presence of someone else. And it was even more miraculous, more spectacular, when that someone was a person he loved in a romantic way.

To Edwin, every moment he’d shared with Andrew over the last day had felt as fantastical and magical as even the most thrilling fairy tale. And he found himself hoping that, with the help of the still-falling snow, his and Andrew’s time together could stretch on into the ever-after.

Andrew’s voice broke through Edwin’s thoughts.

“Finished. Finally.” He heaved a long, slightly ragged breath as he wiped the sweat from his brow. “I should have taken you up on your offer for help with the clinker removal.”

Edwin’s heart skipped as he raked his eyes over Andrew’s sweaty form. Andrew’s shirt was clinging to his pectoral muscles, and his face was flushed from exertion. Edwin rolled his bottom lip between his teeth as sordid thoughts began to flit through his mind. No wonder Andrew always liked how Edwin looked after he helped with the furnace. Andrew looked so beautiful like this, but in a . . . well, in a filthy sort of way.

Grinning, Edwin started over to him.

“If only I could capture you like this in a photograph.” He placed his hands on Andrew’s hips. “Because there’s no chance my memory is sharp enough for me to adequately remember the specifics of how you look right now.” He reached up to touch a lock of sweaty hair that had fallen over Andrew’s forehead. “Like this right here.” He let out a sigh. “You’re very handsome, Andrew.”

Andrew huffed a laugh and blushed.

“I can’t see it, but I’m happy you think so,” he said. “I know you like me like this, but I really should wash up. I’m much sweatier than you ever were when you helped maintain the furnace.”

Andrew moved to leave, but Edwin tightened his grip, keeping Andrew in place.

“Not yet.”

Edwin kissed him. After they parted, he ran his tongue over his own lips to taste the hint of salty sweetness that had settled there from Andrew’s.

“Definitely not yet,” he said with a hum as he shut his eyes.