Page 66 of Beautiful Monster

“He’s just…under a lot of stress.” My dad is under the same amount of stress that he’s always been under. This is his base standard of behavior, and I realize that I've been making these excuses for him my entire life. Alex catches my bullshit right away with a cocked brow.

“Why do you defend him?”

I shrug. “He’s my dad.”

“You deserve better, rain cloud.”

He’s exasperated for me. And with me. I am my own worst enemy in this instance, and I know it. I’m standing on the wrong side of this battlefield, but I can’t seem to make myself cross.

Alex takes two long strides toward me. “You stand up to me when I’m an asshole.”

“That’s different,” I argue.

He rolls his eyes with frustration. “You’re stronger than this, Sunny.”

“No, I’m not.”

He squeezes my arms tightly in his grip. His mouth is pressed into a hard line and I see so many thoughts and almost-arguments swirling behind his eyes. Eventually, he surrenders. “Someday, you’re going to tell those parents of yours what they need to hear, and then I hope you cut ties. But I guess you’ll get there on your own time.”

I doubt it. But it’s nice to feel someone believe in me.

With that, he releases me and turns toward the door.

“Can I come with you?” I blurt out, suddenly feeling motivated to be outside, with Alexander, working up a sweat in a way that doesn’t have to end in a cold shower and franticly touching myself to relieve some of the pressure. I have aggression to get out.

“You want to go for a run?” he asks, looking a little excited about it.

“Yeah, if that’s okay?” We don't have to look like a couple while we’re jogging next to each other. We can still look like friends.

“Of course. Suit up, rain cloud,” he says with a smile, and I run back to my room to grab my shorts and sports bra. When I walk out, he immediately shuts down my outfit. “Nope!” he yells and points at the bedroom.

“You’re not wearing a shirt!” I shout from the bedroom as I dig a tank top out of my bag that is now strewn all over the floor.

When I stomp past him, mumbling, “Happy now?” he answers with a quick swat on my butt that makes me laugh while sending a surge of excitement through my body.

We start off with a brisk walk until we get to the top of the hill where the neighborhood starts to level out.

“Why do you make excuses for him?” Alex asks as he starts to jog.

“I’m not. He’s just…he’s never been a great dad, but I still love him.”

“That doesn’t mean it’s okay to let him talk to you like that, Sunny. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean they have a free pass to treat you like shit.”

“I don’t know,” I mumble.

I can tell Alexander is keeping his pace slower for me. I haven't jogged in almost a year, but I could remember loving long jogs in high school. I didn’t play sports, but these runs around the neighborhood were one of the only ways I could escape my parents fighting.

“Keep up, rain cloud,” he calls as he starts pulling ahead. It only makes me push harder, working to jog beside him.

“What about you?” I ask, losing the ability to speak and breathe at the same time.

“What about me?” he asks. The jerk doesn’t sound winded at all.

“Why haven’t you had kids? You’d make a great dad—a lot better than mine.” My voice comes out in huffs.

“Never wanted to. Marriage and family just never appealed to me before.”

“Before?”