Page 39 of One-Hit Wonder
“Hiya!” she beamed, her steamed-pudding breasts swelling visibly under a tight Lycra vest inscribed with the golden word “Angel.” “What can I get you?”
“Watch this,” whispered Lol, nudging Ana in the ribs, “Flint’s about to switch it on. Pass me a bucket…”
“I’ll have a pint of Export, please, and my two friends here will have…” He turned to Lol and Ana and raised his eyebrows at them, Roger Moore–style.
“Same please,” said Ana.
“Vodka and cranberry, please,” said Lol, adopting a strange, Joanna Lumley–esque accent.
“Oh. Sorry. We haven’t got cranberry”—the girl’s face blanched with the disappointment of not having cranberry and then brightened slightly—“we’ve got blackcurrant, though.”
“What—blackcurrant juice?”
“Yes. No. I’m not sure. I’ll just ask.”
Flint gave Lol a stern glance. “Oi—Scary Spice—leave the poor girl alone.”
“Sorry, Mister Flint, sir,” said Lol, stifling a giggle and nudging Ana in the ribs again.
“Angel—is that your name?” Flint pointed at the slogan on her vest-top.
Lol raised her eyebrows at Ana.
The bartender giggled and started pouring a pint. “Nah,” she beamed, “my name’s Louise. But my friends call me Lou.”
“So—Lou—are you a local?”
“ ’Fraid so,” she sighed. “I’ve lived here all my life.”
“Bit dull, is it?”
“You could say that, yeah.” She placed a full pint on the bar and started pouring another one. “It’s like Night of the Living Dead round here sometimes.”
“And what do you do? Around here? Anything going on?”
“Nah. Nothing. The only action is up on the seafront, but even that’s pretty nonexistent.”
“So if anything unusual was to happen in the area, you’d notice?”
“Oh yeah. Definitely.”
Flint beamed at the bartender again and Ana saw her cheeks flame scarlet.
“You could be just the girl I’m looking for, then.”
“Oh yeah?” She laughed and her blush increased.
“Yeah. We’re looking for some information. About the cottage down on Broad Lane.”
“Hark at Inspector Morse,” whispered Lol into Ana’s ear, stifling another giggle.
“Which cottage is that, then?”
“The pink one. The pink one with the motorbike outside.”
“Oh yeah. Yeah—I know the one. That’s £5.85 for the drinks, please.”
Flint passed her a tenner. Ana noticed that he deliberately brushed the side of her hand with his fingertips as he handed it over and she noticed that Lou almost visibly jumped, like she’d just had an electric shock.
