Page 34 of Masked Instincts

What a perfect word for him. Predator. He’s the mighty lion, and I’m just a zebra.

Sirens play in the distance, and now Jax runs out the door. He moves like lightning, still in nothing but his boxers. The sounds of his footsteps thudding echo in my head and mix with the thumping of my raging heart.

Now that my body is reconnected with my brain, I go and kneel beside Chase.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I whisper.

“Lun-” Chase rasps. Just him speaking is a fight. I meant what I said. If Chase dies because of this, I won’t ever look at Jax the same. He won’t be able to weave his way in to steal my heart, soul, and mind. Motions sound outside the open door: stomping feet and whispering voices. A team of EMTs enter, and I step back, letting them access Chase.

“I-I-is he okay?” I stammer. One of the women working at him turned to me. I bite on the side of my thumb with anxiety coursing through my veins.

“He’s going to be just fine. He may have a concussion, but it seems to be a lot of bumps and bruises. Broken nose, too,” she explains.

Two officers walk into my apartment. I recognize them as the ones who held a gun in Jax’s direction when they shouted at him to stay still. I wondered if they would ever come to my door to ask me questions about him, but they never had. Jax is a runner. It’s in his blood. If this incident is any indication, I know he will do anything to keep from going to prison again. I wonder who he was and how he acted before he went.

“Ma’am, do you know the person who did this?” One of the officers ask me, but he almost sounds condescending.

Looking down at Chase, guilt eats at me. I should tell them the truth. Now is my opportunity to turn Jax in, but despite everything he has done to me, I can’t ruin his life further.

I shake my head. There it goes again, my voice.

“Can you describe him at all?” The other asks. He sounds nicer.

“He had on all black and wore a mask,” I peep out the lie. The officer I ‘know’ looks at me, and the look in his eyes changes.

“You’re the girl that was with the runaway last year,” he states. I nod. “Was it him?” My head whips back to him, and I finally make direct eye contact.

“I just told you he was wearing a mask. How would I know?”

“Why’d he come here?”

“I don’t know.”

“Why’d he beat him?” He nods towards Chase. EMTS are still hooking up wires to him and listening to his heart. “Was your friend already here?”

“I don’t know why he did it. Yes, he was already here,” I snap more aggressively than intended.

“I’m touching a nerve,” he says more to himself than anyone.

“Look,” the other one begins. “We’re going to talk to the unit manager and see if the cameras can tell us anything.”

Good cop. Bad cop.

I pull the robe tighter to my body as nerves continue to take over my entire being. Suddenly, I feel too exposed. Maybe if too much of my skin shows, they’ll see the lies written on my body.

Cameras never occurred to me. What if they see Jax on the cameras and then come for me because I’m a big fat liar? No. Everything is going to be okay.

Without another word, the officers leave, and Chase is brought to the hospital. All the noise that filled the room is gone. Nothing but silence. Silence so loud that it feels deafening.

When everyone left, they took a piece of me away with them. I gather the few pieces I have left and bring them to the bathroom. Switching the shower to cold, I get in and let the water run over me. I hoped the coldness would wake me up from the nightmare my life has become, but I still feel hollow inside.

If I could never see Jax again, I’d like to think that would be okay, but there’s a devil dancing on my shoulder, whispering dark things into my ear, reminding me how my body feels when he thrusts inside of me. The way I feel when he talks dirty to me. How I light up like a firework by him simply being near. I’ve never met anyone who lights me on fire like he does, in good ways and bad. He ignites everything inside of me, causing bombs to go off like a minefield.

Jax has taken careful steps to ruin me; since the beginning, that’s exactly what he wanted. And since the beginning, that’s exactly what I’ve let him do.

twenty

JAX