Page 17 of Masked Instincts

eleven

JAX

Mama fell asleep on the couch. I carried her into my bed and pulled the blanket up to her chin before she curled into the fetal position, snoring softly.

Now, I’m staring into Luna’s window. When her eyes find mine, she doesn’t seem frightened at all. Not like she has before. It’s like she’s beginning to recognize me. See me for who I really am. I wasn’t lying when I said our souls were connected. Tethered as one. Our paths were meant to wind up together. The end of a forked road, merging into one.

A growl escapes me when I see that Chase’s hand is on her. I could swear that she was crying or in discomfort. Everything about that pisses me off. I’m not sure why I’m so angry when he touches her. I know they won’t be anything more. I’ve watched him too and heard them talking. He’s gay. That’s what Luna meant when she told me she’s not his type.

I just want to be the one to console her, but I also want to be the one to bring tears to those pretty eyes. I want to see the droplets fall from sinking deep inside of her too hard. From imprinting my fingers into her skin. It’s the only acceptable reason for tears falling from those icy blue eyes.

I’ve been feeling unsettled since I told Mama my story. She didn’t look at me any differently. She still looked at me like the young man who saved her from a monster in the night.

And that breaks my heart most of all.

I’m not a good man. I’m not the man she tried to raise me to be. I’m so far off the deep end, but she loved me like a mother should love her son. I haven’t done anything to deserve that love in the last ten years. And ultimately, when Luna falls in love with me, I won’t deserve that either. I’ll selfishly accept it because she’s a part of me now.

If I walked away from this town without her, it would bring me to my knees. And it’s my fault because I had my way with her. If I hadn’t, then maybe she wouldn’t live rent-free in my fucking head. I’ve been spinning in circles since that night. Falling with no end in sight.

And at the moment, I know Chase needs to go. Luna will hate it, but she’ll never hate me. As hard as she’ll try, she won’t ever shake the thought of Jax Turner. Her mind will want to let go, but her heart will beat for me. Her body will sing for me.

I stride closer to the window. My hood is up over my painted face. Boots thudding beneath me on the tar. Chase seems to be back in his own world because he doesn’t know when Luna’s body stiffens, and her eyes widen with shock. Or maybe it’s realization. Whatever the feeling behind her stare may be, it doesn’t matter because all I crave is her attention in any form.

The sun is nearly set in the sky, and the world darkens around me. Rain pours over in heavy buckets. If I didn’t have my hood on, the paint would slide away.

I stop in my tracks at the edge of the sidewalk closest to the window of Luna’s apartment. Watching as she disappears, she emerges from the apartment building a few moments later. Her eyes lock with mine. Buildings and trees fade away into nothing. Her tiny feet carry her toward me like I’m a mime pulling an imaginary string.

“Why do you keep following me? Watching me?” She snaps, trying to sound angry, but the lust in her eyes is familiar from the night in the woods when the moon shined down on her beneath a starry sky.

Watching as the rain soaks her shirt, her nipples grow hard under the thin fabric. A cool breeze washes over us. Lifting my hand, my body tingling with the need to feel her skin— even just a tiny touch, my fingers trace down her cheek and towards her throat before I grip it tight. As I cut off her airway, she tries to gasp for air. I lean into the side of her neck, sniffing— cinnamon, sugar, and everything so sweet.

The scent is mixed with her sweat, and the only thing that would make this better was if her blood was dripping down her skin again. Come coating the both of us.

“Jax,” she whispers through the struggle. Her voice sounds raspy and weak. With everything in me, I try to prevent my face from changing. I shake my head at her as I live in denial. She clearly has me figured out, but there’s a smidge of hesitation in letting her know it’s me.

“Why won’t you speak?”

I shrug my shoulders.

Staring past her and through the window, I see Chase standing there. Staring. Watching with a devil’s glare, but that’s all it is because I’m the real devil here. Our eyes collide, and that’s when he books it out of her door.

He comes outside in a sprint and right over to us. My hand is still around Luna’s throat, but the grip has loosened to give her some air. I’m not entirely deranged; I’ll let her breathe.

“Get away from her, you freak!” Chase shouts. Right. I’m the freak, but he gets beat for being himself. Just another thing I’ve learned from stalking them. I wouldn’t. Sure, I’d beat him, but that is for spending too much goddamn time with my woman.

Who is to stop me from throwing her on the ground and taking her right here? In the middle of the sidewalk and in front of Chase. Is he going to stop me? I’d love to see him try.

I turn my head towards him and shake my head back and forth. Chase goes to swing a punch, but I grab his wrist in a violent grip. So rough that it makes him whimper in pain. I can’t help it, but a deep chuckle escapes me. He is the type of man that would be made someone’s bitch in prison. And I’ll make him mine.

My other hand slips from Luna’s throat and moves to Chase’s. She breathes in a full lungs worth of air before trying to fight me off of him, but it’s useless. Her little hands are pulling at me, but I don’t stop. When I turn and see her eyes, they’re filled with tears.

“Please. Please let him go. Jax, if it truly is you, please, let go,” she begs me. How she says my name makes me feel like God, like I have all the power in my hands. But the way she speaks, with a weak voice and weak words, something inside me goes just as soft.

My fingers release Chase and he chokes on his life.

“I knew it,” she murmurs.

“How?” I rasp. My hands are shaking. Nostrils flaring. I’m losing control, and I can’t fucking stand it.