Page 204 of Infernal Bonds

She shifted, clawing at her palm with her nails. I recognized the movement as something I did when distracting myself from uncomfortable topics.

“You can tell me,” I whispered, shifting from my alternate form so I could brush my thumb over her arm without stopping her from soothing herself.

“You guys need me because of Bondrot. Getting rid of me would cause you problems—or kill you. So, of course, you need me there. And then there’s whatever I am. If that prophecy means whatever I am helps you guys be stronger, then you need me for that.”

She sighed.

“Cornaith only sees me as a trade. Rinlora’s mother thinks I’m something worth experimenting on, like a science project. Everyone needs something from me, but they don’t need me, the person. It was the same on Earth—except with Grandma.”

No wonder the curse was using her mind against her like this.

How long had she felt this way?

While she wasn’t wrong, she failed to see beyond those truths to recognize that we wanted her despite those things, that we needed her whether she was a human without magic or a beast from Moicae.

And if I didn’t make her see it, the weight of her pain would destroy her.

“Rae, I don’t need you to be anything for me. I don’t need you to give me anything more than just you. That’s all I need. You. I want you.” I reached out and brushed my thumb over her cheek. “If I could let you see inside my head the way I can be in yours now, you’d see how much I loved you. But since I can’t do that, I will show you my love if you let me.”

I wanted to tell her I loved her in a better way, in a better place, but I knew she needed to hear it. I didn’t think she intended to tell me she loved me like this either, but I still felt it. I believed it. The realization that Rae loved me still brought tears to my eyes.

“I’ll destroy you,” she said, repeating her earlier concerns.

“I told you to do it. You can do whatever you want to me, but I know you won’t.”

Her hair swished as she shook her head rapidly. “I destroy everything I love.”

“That’s the first lie I’ve heard you tell.”

She looked up at me, and my heart cracked when I saw the tears streaking down her face.

“I don’t have to tell you because you know the truth deep inside, but I will. Your grandmother’s death wasn’t your fault. Your parents’ death wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t be blamed for telling people you loved, who were supposed to keep you safe, that you saw scary things. And you sure as hell aren’t to blame for what we’re going through because we’re separated. You made a mistake, but we’re going to fix it.”

“I don’t wanna hurt you. Cyn doesn’t want me, Zeke. Not the way you want me or have him. Not the way I want you.”

“He wants you.” I huffed. “If you only knew how much he needs you. But it’s not my place to tell.”

“He already believes I’ll destroy you all.”

“You’ll destroy something, but it’s needed.”

Her shoulders drew up.

“You’ve already torn apart our excuses for letting our parents run our lives. We need you to continue destroying the things that aren’t good for us. You force us to be better. We need that.”

“Not Cyn.”

I noticed she didn’t mention Ezra. I knew their relationship was just as rocky, if not rockier, than the one she shared with Cyn, but I also knew neither of them was even close to being ready to accept their bond—if it ever happened.

“Rae,” I whispered, grabbing her hands. “Maybe you are his destruction.” I tightened my grip when she flinched. “No, listen. It’s not him, the person, that you’re destroying. You’re destroying all the things he uses to keep himself unhappy while showing him he can have more. You’re destroying his excuses.”

She shook her head in denial.

I needed her to understand. If she only knew the Cyn we knew before she came along… if she’d known me. I squeezed my eyes shut, taking a steadying breath before telling her the truth.

“You’re also the one who’ll save him. You already saved me.” I swallowed. “And I won’t stop until we save you too. We’ll destroy every one of these chains that make you feel like you’re not good enough, because you are. Just like you’ve made me believe I’m worthy of having him… and you. Worthy enough to deserve happiness and to exist. Not only for those I love, but for myself.”

She looked at the fog threatening to move in from the edge of the path and steal this moment.