Page 199 of Infernal Secrets

“I’m not.”

“What?”

“I feel it. I know you’ll be okay, and that’s what I needed.”

I clambered upright and grasped the bars. “What are you saying?”

“It’s time for me to go,” she whispered, her expression softening as fresh tears streamed down my face.

“No.” My voice cracked. “You can’t go yet. I just got you back.”

Her delicate hands cradled my cheeks. “I’ll always be with you, my sweet girl.”

I struggled to breathe as her touch grew fainter against my skin. Through her ethereal form, I could see the other side of the courtyard clearly. “Grandma, no.” My breath shuddered. “Not yet. Stay with me. Don’t make me say goodbye.”

“I love you, Sweet Pea.”

“I love you,” I murmured, struggling against the invisible force obstructing my breathing. I heaved a breath, hoping to speak more clearly. I needed her to know how much I loved her—to say goodbye the right way. “I love you so much. So damn much.”

I collapsed onto my hands and knees, clutching at the dead leaves scattered across my cage floor as the magic binding her to this world fell around me like glittering diamonds.

When the sapphire sparkles faded into nothing, I curled up in the center of my cage as my shadow friends emerged, moving as close to me as the bars would allow.

Their presence didn’t bring me comfort this time. Instead, numbness settled over me, and my skin grew cold even without the temperature dropping.

My mind tried to rationalize her absence as peaceful—something good.

The guys said souls didn’t feel pain in the slipstream. She wasn’t suffering anymore. But that truth didn’t soothe my heart. I couldn’t feel much of anything.

I closed my eyes.

No matter how much my mind understood, my heart wasn’t ready to accept Grandma was really gone for good this time.

I didn’t know how much more I could handle.

48

BONDROT

ASH

Wiping his mouth, Zeke shuffled into the living room from the front hallway leading to the downstairs bathroom.

I looked up from my spot on the wraparound sofa. “There’s water for you,” I said, nodding to the bottle on the coffee table. I’d grabbed a few bottles and made sandwiches after Ezra came in from training. I doubted Zeke would eat, but he needed fluids.

“Thanks,” he grumbled, rubbing his stomach.

He looked awful.

It’d been two days since we last saw Rae, and Zeke had spent most of that time hugging the toilet.

He grabbed a bottle and collapsed onto the sofa across from me, propping his bare feet on the table. “I don’t think I have anything left to throw up.” He pushed his messy platinum hair back, revealing dark circles beneath his eyes.

“Where’s Cyn?”

“Cleaning the toilet.”

He tugged the legs of his navy sweatpants up to his knees. “It’s so hot,” he whined, flopping back into the plush cushions and pressing the bottle to his forehead.