Page 156 of Infernal Secrets

“Huh?”

“I asked how’s it going with the hottie party?” She frowned. “Where’d you go?”

I laughed. “Nowhere. Hottie party?” I stabbed at the salad, gathering a bite. “Are you talking about the guys?”

“Of course I am. So?”

I rolled my eyes. “Same as always. Not sure when they’ll be going home.”

She swallowed her food. “If they are helping around the house, don’t focus on that. Focus on healing. That shit doesn’t disappear overnight.”

“Yeah,” I whispered, pushing my salad around with my fork. “I guess you’re right.”

If she only knew how much I didn’t want to see Ash and Zeke go. They’d become too important to say goodbye to and never see again. I needed to ask what happened when humans died and went to Elyrdin, and whether their position as royalty would keep me from seeing them again. Leaving for another town wasn’t the same as disappearing from Earth.

It’d be as if they died, and I couldn’t imagine that.

“Rae?”

I glanced up to find Maya looking at me with concern.

“Rae, what’s going on? Did I make you think of Bonnie?”

A soft sob slipped out before I could stop it, and I covered my mouth.

“Shit. I’m so sorry, babe.” She stood, coming to my side and pulling me against her in a tight hug. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

I sniffed, resting my head against her stomach. “No. It’s not that.” I couldn’t let her believe this was her fault, so I told her the truth. “I’m not ready.”

“Ready for what?” She stepped back to peer down at me, hands on my shoulders.

I looked away. “For them to leave.”

She went back to her chair. “All of them?” Her hand grasped mine.

I shook my head. “No. I… Ash and Zeke. I’m not ready for them to go.”

No matter how much Cyn drew me in like a magnet, he was an asshole. The only times he acted decent were with Zeke in mind. Even when Cyn pushed me to eat or checked if I was hurt, I only caught his eye because of Zeke. He and I would never get along. And Ezra and I didn’t mesh. I didn’t hate him, but I didn’t like him either.

Only Ash and Zeke would leave behind a hole in my heart.

It unnerved me how strongly it affected me after such a short time.

“Can’t you visit them, or have them come visit you? I mean, how far away do they live? You traveled to Greensboro all the time. I’ll even lend you my car.” Her eyes went wide with alarm when I broke down sobbing again.

My arms encircled her as she cradled my head, and all the anguish I’d held back since Grandma’s funeral when Ash held me finally spilled out. The thought only made me bawl louder.

Maya didn’t move, letting me cry until there wasn’t anything left to give. She sat down again. “You need to tell me what’s going on. I’m seriously worried about you.”

I wiped my face with my napkin, grimacing at the makeup smeared across it. Whatever. I didn’t care anymore. Shane could send me home early. I met Maya’s anxious stare.

“I won’t be able to see them again when they leave.”

“What? Why?”

“I can’t travel to where they’re from.”

“Never?”