Page 147 of Fractured Fate

She tried to imagine Blaire killing someone in cold blood, but she found it difficult. Blaire had been afraid to even defy her stepbrother before she came to Blackthorn Academy. Had she really changed so much in a year? Considering everything they told her she went through, it wasn’t out of the question.

“So yeah. My nightmares for months have been reliving that moment on my knees with the gun to my head, or the after where I waited in limbo.” His heavy sigh sounded defeated. “I don’t know how to make it stop.”

Her stomach cramped, and her eyes stung. She couldn’t stop her emotions from taking over as her vision blurred with unshed tears.

The more she heard about their world, the more her curiosity grew, but it sounded scary. Not in the “monsters waiting in the dark” sort of way, but in a “This world is dangerous and if you’re not strong enough, it’ll eat you alive” sort of way.

His head turned when she hiccupped, and he pivoted his body toward her. “Why are you crying?”

She sniffed and wiped her nose. Tears streamed down her face, making her swipe her chin. “I didn’t know… I didn’t… I never knew anything.” She sniffed. “God Aiden, I’ve liked you for a long time now. To think you might have died permanently, and I wouldn’t have gotten the chance to really know you the way I have this last little while…” The tears fell faster, and she hiccupped as her chest tightened.

His arms wrapped around her shoulders, drawing her to him. She didn’t resist, burying her face in his chest, wetting his skin in the process. He made a gentle shushing sound. “It’s okay. I’m safe now. I’m here.”

“No, it’s not!” Her fist balled against his arm and hit his bicep. “It’s not okay. It’s not okay. I didn’t know. It’s not okay someone shot you in the head. None of this is okay!” Her soft cries turned into heartrending sobs that racked her body, making him hold her tighter.

“No, I guess not.” His hand moved up to cup the back of her head, burying his face in her sleep-mussed curls. “But I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere. I won’t leave you.”

Aiden held her tight, comforting her as she poured out her grief over the potential loss of the time they shared. She didn’t understand the anguish she felt. Although she hadn’t lost any time, the mere thought of it caused her chest to flutter in a panic.

It felt like she was grieving his death, even with him right in front of her.

His heart beat thunderously in her ear and he spoke low. “Charlotte. You’re breaking my heart.”

Her head popped up, and she looked up at him, sniffing. “What?”

“Your emotions are wide open to me right now. They are so strong that I feel all your sadness and panic.” When her heart tripped over itself with anxiety at the idea her feelings were hurting him, his eyes softened. “I’m not upset with you. I’m worried about you.” His thumb swiped her cheeks. “I’m really not going anywhere.”

It had been a long time since she’d cried like that. A long time since something hit her with such a force that she felt helpless to stop the waves of heartache from crashing in. Even before starting depression medication, she didn’t react like this. Depression made her pivot between anger and emptiness. It affected everyone differently but had usually been consistent within her.

Releasing a calming breath, she wiped the remaining wetness from her chin and cheeks and looked up at Aiden’s face. “How often do you have the nightmares?”

“Almost every night. Less when I slept with you.”

Her face felt hot. “Have you talked to anyone about your nightmares?”

“Not really.” He leaned back against the wall, and she turned on the bed to put her back to the room, facing him. “I’ve told some of our friends that I have them, but not the details.”

“What about a professional?”

“Like a therapist?”

“Yeah. It helped me way back. I don’t see one now because I know what’s going on and the medicine does enough to help with it, but if it got too bad, I’d start therapy again.”

She wondered if maybe before long she could stop taking pills, but she wasn’t sure. She quit when she felt better years ago, but as soon as anything shook her foundation enough, she needed it again. It was possible quitting wasn’t an option. Was it healthy to start and stop depression medication whenever the need arose, like cold medicine, or did it make sense to take it as a preventative measure? She needed to at least ask the doctor that much.

He sighed. “I haven’t, no. The others have been seeing the therapist in the psychology department, but I haven’t. It really messed with a lot of them, witnessing what they did and all. I guess if I saw my friend or sibling—” His jaw tightened, and she reached to grasp his hand, squeezing.

She knew without him having to finish. He didn’t need to keep reliving it.

“I think it might be a good idea,” he conceded. “Especially now that I have the Korrena bond to contend with, too.”

“What do you mean?”

Aiden laced his fingers with hers. “The bond can make you volatile. Aggression is common, for example. You wouldn’t know it to look at them now, but Lukas and Blaire fought like cats and dogs in the beginning. The jealousy was intense. Lukas and I almost—”

When he didn’t continue, she squinted. “What?”

“He thought I was trying to take Blaire from him. We almost got into a fight.”