Page 5 of Sing For Us

We are all situated in my living room, and the coffee is flowing. In Bosnian culture, it’s important to have coffee with every single occasion—happy or not. Adam’s sitting next to Sara, and Hana’s sandwiched between Oliver and Josh.

“So, what the fuck happened?” Adam asks me as he’s stroking Sara’s hair.

“I got played by a woman I loved, end of story,” I reply curtly. Nobody says anything about my admission, for reasons I don't understand. Frankly, I don’t even care.

“What I meant was, how did we not notice anything?” Adam diverts the attention from me to the situation Lana has left us in.

“That woman is the fucking devil,” Sara starts. “But she’s probably the most intelligent individual I’ve met. She must have been training for this for years.”

“I agree. This whole vendetta against you didn’t come out of the blue; she prepared for this,” Josh adds.

“But where the fuck did it start? Because she kept asking you where your father is,” Oliver retorts. He is right; why is she so hellbent on my father? My knowledge extends to him being the most despicable human being on the planet, but why is she so mad at him?

“Noa, do you know?” Hana asks me. I look at her and shake my head.

“I really don’t, cousin. I wish I did,” I reply as I put my head in my hands. I’m pondering over all the small details that were there.

“Did she ever ask you any personal questions?” Adam snatches me out of my trance by asking me that question. I cock my head at him and take a deep breath.

“Yes, she–” Oh hell no. “That fucking devil-woman!” I stand up and start pacing around the room. All this time, I thought that the Devil would make himself known in an obvious way, but he didn’t.

No, she didn’t make herself known.

“I swear to God, Noa, I’m going to punch you. Talk to us!” Sara yells at me. If I can take crap from anyone, it’s from her. From all the women in my life, actually.

“Lana asked me what my mother’s name was, where I was born, and all that fucking stuff. Fuck!” My heart is pounding as I think back to all those moments we shared. She wasn’t trying to get to know me—she was fishing for information so she could obliterate me. Physically and emotionally.

“Sit. Down.” Josh orders me from the couch. I take slow breaths to calm my nerves, and it doesn’t work. Whoever said that heartbreak is the worst feeling in the world was wrong. Betrayal is. It cuts through your core, and it makes you question everything.

While I knew I didn’t have a soul, I didn’t think she was aware of that.

My ass plops onto my chair, and I am fucking tired. My energy levels are down, and my will to formulate a coherent sentence has been drained. That’s why my team needs to leave.

“Leave,” I whisper to them. The silence is deafening. I can’t even look my team in the eye.

“Noa.”

I know somebody is talking, but I don’t pay it any attention. After a couple more minutes, I hear them stand up and leave my house.

Great job, Noa.

I’m secluding myself from the people who have my best interests at heart.

My eyes are focused on a spot on the floor, but I keep seeing her face. My mind is playing tricks on me, I can’t get her voice out of my mind. She was my purpose in this wicked life—the only ray of sunlight on my darkest days.

I wish I could erase her from my mind like she never existed—but that is impossible. My heart, mind, and soul all belonged to her. My fingers still remember how her hair passed through them. My arms still feel her embrace. And my heart? It’s still calling out to her.

Now I have nobody.

“Do you remember the time I snuck out of the house at fourteen and came to you because my parents forced me to do another ballet recital?” Hana.

“Yeah, I do,” I confirm. I don’t know why she is talking about her shitty parents, but I let her. I need the distraction.

“Those ballet lessons and recitals really fucked with my head,” Hana recalls with a chuckle. That small sound makes me look at her. My cousin needs me right now, so I man the fuck up. Hana is my cousin, but I love her like she is my sister.

“I remember. Even though you were really good, you looked miserable,” I tell her. She pinches her eyebrows and cocks her head.

“Gee, thanks,” she says mockingly. I wave my hands at her and apologize.