Page 120 of Sing For Us

My sobs quiet down as her explanation hits me like a truck.

“Thank you for that. Where is Noa?” I need him to hold me, and I need to tell him that I believe when he said that he didn’t kill my father. Noa doesn’t lie, especially about something as significant as praying.

“He’ll be here quickly. You two are just made for each other.” Sara knows what true love is; I see it with her and Adam. Right on cue, he knocks and walks into the room. Standing behind his girlfriend.

I smile at her. “You’ve become such a sap.”

“No!”

“Yes. Don’t be weird about it.”

She shrugs. “Being weird means being cool.”

I stop blinking, and my mouth drops open.

“Where did you hear that phrase?” I can feel my heart pounding in my ears so loudly I might pass out again.

Adam inserts himself into our conversation. “Noa used to say that all the time.”

“Where did he hear that? Who taught him that?”

“His mom. When Noa was little, Dario told him that he’s weird for liking board games, I think. He ran to his mom, and she told him being weird means being cool.”

Before I can do anything, I hear Noa’s tires screech into the driveway, and I bolt. I don’t even bother putting shoes on—I run outside.

The second I see him, my legs move before my brain can catch up.

“Noa.”

His head snaps toward me, and whatever exhaustion was written across his face disappears the second he sees mine. He knows, and somehow, he always knows.

I throw myself at him, and his arms wrap around me instantly, like he’s been waiting for me to break and to let my emotions run free. Like he knew the moment he came home that I wouldn’t be able to keep pretending I was okay. And I’m not.

The sob that leaves my chest feels foreign. I’ve spent so long holding everything together that I almost forgot what it felt like to fall apart.

Noa doesn’t say anything at first.

He just holds me.

His hand moves slowly over my hair, his other arm locked around my waist like he’s afraid I’ll disappear if he lets go.

The sob that leaves my chest mimics that of the one I let out in the hospital. It’s a luxury to have someone you can fall apart with.

His hand rests on my neck, and his other arm is locked around my waist.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. He sounds so hurt and guilty.

I pull back slightly, shaking my head. “No.”

“I should’ve been there.” I can feel how vulnerable he is right now…and my heart cracks because I know where his mind goes. After all, mine does the same. Things he couldn’t stop, people he couldn’t save, and to carry weight he shouldn’t carry alone.

“Noa...”

“It’s not about me right now. I’m so sorry about what happened to Emin. It’s my fault.” He says it like it’s a fact. I feel like he’s always carried that burden of people leaving him.

His embrace tightens around me. “I’m going to make him pay.”

The anger in his voice is terrifying, and not because I’m afraid of him. I’m afraid of what he’s willing to do to himself.