Page 97 of Ravage

“But you’re leaving and going God knows where to do God knows what.” I motioned my hand toward the door. “And he’s going to be going out there mad and hating us both. That can’t be good.”

“I’ll keep an eye on him.”

“He might shoot you.”

“He might.”

“If he does, don’t shoot him back.”

“I see how it is,” he chuckled. “But I doubt it will come to that.”

“It’s Jax we’re talking about. It could definitely come to that.”

“It won’t… I won’t let it.” He leaned down and kissed me on the forehead. “I’ll be back when I can.”

I reached up and wrapped my arms around him, holding him for a second before I let him go. He walked out the door, and it took all I had not to lose it right then and there. He wasn’t just another brother walking out of the room.

He was the man I was falling in love with, the man whose arms had become the place I felt the safest, and I’d just watched him walk out of my room knowing there was a chance he might not come back. And if that wasn’t bad enough, Jax had discovered our secret at the worst time possible.

I could lose them both tonight, and neither would ever know how much I truly cared about them. That thought brought tears to my eyes. I’d made a huge mess of everything. I couldn’t stand there alone in that room, so I headed to the bar for a drink.

The place was completely barren, and there was no music playing, which made it seem empty and hollow in a way that sent a chill up my spine. I grabbed a bottle of tequila and sat down at the counter. I grabbed a shot glass and filled it to the brim. I sat there staring at it, and before I could stop them, tears started falling. And not just a little. I was full-on sobbing, and I had no one to blame but myself.

I should’ve been up front with Jax. I should’ve told him I had feelings for Cole, but I’d been too selfish and scared. He didn’t deserve that. He’d given up years of his life to step in for my parents. He’d been there for me at my worst, and never once complained.

And this is how I repaid him.

I needed to fix this, but I had no idea how. So, I wiped my tears and called the one person I could trust to be brutally honest with me. I dialed her number, and as soon as she answered, I said, “Chrissy, I need your advice.”

“Oh, no. What’s wrong?”

“Everything.”

“It would have to be for you to call me for advice,” she scoffed. “So spill it. What’s going on?”

“I’ve been seeing Cole.”

“Cole?” It took her a second, and then she stammered, “You mean Ravage? As in Ravage, the hottest biker on the planet, Ravage? The guy you’ve fawned over the past ten years?”

“It hasn’t been that long.”

“So, that’s a yes!” she gasped. “I can’t believe it! You dirty, little slutbag! I’m so proud of you.”

“Chrissy, stop. This isn’t good news.”

“Of course it is!” she argued. “You finally went after your man! You go, girl.”

“It’s more complicated than that.”

I took a minute and told her everything, from the night Cole agreed to give me lessons to the night of the break-in. She didn’t interrupt. She just sat there and listened as I spilled my guts about everything, including how hard it was to see the pained look on Jax’s face before he stormed out.

When I finished, there was a long silence, and then she finally muttered, “I can’t believe you are just now telling me all this.”

“I’ve been a little preoccupied.”

“Clearly, but you could’ve taken two seconds to call and say, ‘Oh, by the way, I had sex with Ravage, and now I want to marry him and have his babies.’”

“Whoa. Hold on. I didn’t say all that.”