Page 3 of What He Keeps

“Irina.”

He turns away sharply, dragging in a rough breath that doesn’t seem to help much. “I should’ve stayed,” he says hoarsely. “The event went so well I thought everything was okay. I should’ve stayed but I left because I thought everything was calming down.”

“There wasn’t anything you could’ve done,” I try to reassure him.

“There damn sure was.” His hands clench at his sides so hard I can see the tension all the way up his arms.

“Jules.”

“I should’ve stayed.” His voice breaks completely that time. He drags both hands through his hair, sucking in deep breaths like he’s trying not to lose it right here in the parking lot.

I pull him into a quick, fierce hug. He hugs me back just as tightly while trying unsuccessfully to pull himself together.

Around us, officers continue moving through the shelter, gathering statements from shaken volunteers while frightened dogs retreat deeper into the corners of their kennels. Flashlights sweep across the property, and radios continue to crackle. It feels like a nightmare I can’t wake up from.

“I need to check the animals,” I mumble, my voice sounding strange to my own ears, distant and uneven like it belongs to somebody else. My attention moves toward the shelter doors, where volunteers hurry between runs, trying to calm the animals. “They’re scared.”

“You are not going back in there tonight.” Alexei’s voice cuts clean through the commotion surrounding us.

I look over at him standing beside the open ambulance doors, his broad shoulders rigid while red and blue lights flash across his face in rapid bursts of color.

“I have to,” I argue weakly. “The volunteers are overwhelmed and those animals are terrified.”

“Maggie.” His tone drops lower, firmer this time. “No.”

I shake my head, and the motion sends dizziness rolling through me so hard I grab the edge of the ambulance for balance. Ivy reacts instantly, tightening both arms around my waist like she thinks I might collapse right in front of her.

“I can’t just leave them here.”

“You almost died tonight,” he growls.

The words hit me like a slap. I know he’s right, and the thought nearly makes me sick.

Alexei steps closer, lowering his voice further when he sees my face change. “At this moment, I don’t care about the shelter.”

Tears burn behind my eyes. “I do.”

“I know.”

His voice loses some of its edge on those two words, and that almost breaks me worse than the cold control he’s been holding onto. Around us, officers continue moving through the crowded parking lot while paramedics load equipment back into ambulances.

Before I can argue again, Jules steps between us, rubbing both hands over his face roughly like he’s trying to pull himself together physically.

“Maggie.” His eyes lock onto mine, still glassy with grief. “Honey, listen to me.”

I stare at him helplessly while Ivy clings tighter to my side.

“I’ll handle everything here.” He gestures back toward the shelter. “The animals, the volunteers, the cleanup, all of it. Ain’t nobody gonna be alone tonight.”

“But you’re exhausted.”

“So are you.” He gives me a pointed look up and down. “You’re covered in blood, runnin’ on pure adrenaline, and one hard breeze away from fallin’ over.”

I let out a shaky breath that almost sounds like a weak laugh.

“I can still help,” I insist, even though I’m barely keeping it together. The shelter is my responsibility. Those animals are my responsibility. So are the volunteers still crying inside that building, and Jules is standing out here trying to manage this nightmare around us. He’s my family, and every instinct in me fights the idea of leaving him here to carry all of this alone.

“Maggie.” Jules lowers his voice gently. “Ivy needs you more than this shelter does tonight.”