Page 149 of The Promises We Were Never Meant To Keep

Then I turn back to the hall where I just fucked my ex-girlfriend, and brother’s widow.

I think I knew from the minute I arrived back in Rubble Ridge that this is where I’d end up with Faye. Even when I denied it, I knew. When I told myself I hated her, I knew.

I just hoped that the first time I had her again after all this time might be a little less—well, less of a collision.

Sighing, I pull my phone from my pocket. I tap into my Mom’s contact and start to type.

31

ALWAYS LIVE HERE

JUNE 2023 – PRESENT DAY

Ihad sex with Holt.

I had unprotected sex with Holt.

My ex. My husband’s brother.

Shoot. Shoot, shoot, shoot. Shoot. Shoot!

Okay, okay, late husband. I’m not married anymore.

Does that make it any better?

“Fuck!” I drop my head into my hands and curse the word at least another half dozen times. I’m a terrible person. I don’t know how I feel.

What are people going to think?

What do I think?

I think I’m going to be sick…

I feel hot and sticky, and a little overwhelmed inside. My mind is swimming with more than I can pull apart, more than I can dissect.

The shower is running, the humming sound of water drumming into the floor surrounds me. I let the robe fall to the floor before I step under the spray, pulling the curtain closed behind me. Then I sink to my knees.

I’m not sure how long I stay like that. Only that the shower curtain shifts eventually, and I feel the warmth of a big body behind me.

Holt’s arms come around me, and he pulls me into his chest. The scruff of his short beard bites into my soft skin as he moves his mouth to my ear.

Raggedly, like a man stripped down to his very soul, he begs, “Don’t regret me, Faye.”

Oh, God. I could never.

“I could never regret you.”

“That’s not what this looks like.”

“I’m so confused right now,” I tell him honestly. “I feel so lost.”

“Just hold on to me, baby. Hold on tight and I’ll show you the way, because I’m never going to let go of you again.” His lips slide over the ridge of my shoulder. “Never again.”

“I just—” I feel like I’m going to come apart at the seams. “I never stopped loving you, either.” A sob catches in the back of my throat. Holt’s arms tighten around me. “Tate knew. I know he knew, and he never once made me feel guilty because of it—but I felt guilty anyway. How could I love him like I did and love you still?”

“Baby.”

“How can you forgive me, Holt? How can you want me knowing⁠—”