Page 90 of Ash and Poison

He still comes back. Always. I hate it. I hate him.

I tell the doctor, and he says it is going to be alright. My doctor tells me to write about my pain, that it will help me.

He takes my letters and he promises he is sending them to you.

Why won’t you write back, Ash?

Why won’t you come for me?

Riley.

22

A WEB OF SECRETS

DIYA

My fingers trembled as I put the letter back down.

They looked creased, dirty, and some were taped together at torn parts… he had been reading them repeatedly and torturing himself.

The words were sharp and shattered… broken and bruised. Riley’s pain and growing desperation echoed in her every word.

Doctor T had promised her a lot of things and betrayed her. He stole her letters and kept her trapped in this hell.

“Her words seem like the ramblings of someone completely lost, but she’s aware of it all, and yet she couldn’t…”

I never knew Riley, and my heart broke for her. He was her best friend, and she… even when she was broken, she trusted only him; she wanted only him.

Knowing he had failed her, it would have killed him. No wonder he was here.

He deserved to do this, to see this to the end. For Riley, but also for himself.

My eyes widened when I read another one. Riley mentioned something about lavender. Millie said the same when she had her panic attack.

I frowned.

“Asher, take a look at this.” I showed him the letter. “Millie said something about lavenders too,” I said with a frown. “I… something is wrong.”

“What?”

“I don’t know.” I frowned. “We’ll find out.”

“I’ve waited a long time for this, Diya. I lived with guilt and…” He stopped. He always stopped himself short whenever he talked about Riley.

“Tell me. I just want to listen to you, Ash.”

“I’ve been working hard to hide all this darkness inside me, and I don’t like it when it seeps through the cracks. I hate it more when you see it so clearly.”

“You can survive this, Asher. Let me help. I can save you.” I saw myself in him, the desperation, the pain, the need for something to hold on to even when everything was falling apart. “Darkness isn’t such a good place to lose yourself. It’s cruel and painful.”

I wished someone had saved me, saved us. I would have loved to live a simple life, without the blood-stained memories.

A laugh escaped him, strained and jagged, as if the sound was dragged deep out of some empty part within him.

“I have lived in darkness since the day I saw Riley, her body battered, her skin torn, her eyes empty. It’s too late for me now,” he said.

“I’m sorry you had to see her like that.”