Page 7 of Ash and Poison

“I’d really hate to kill you, Doctor Sharma. Don’t make me,” I whispered to myself, pulling open the drawer and taking out Riley’s letter, hidden between the pages of an old book. I’d read it so many times I could recite it by heart.

Every word was a desperate cry for help, and no one had answered. Doctor T had read her fears, her pain… he knew she was dying every day, and he protected the monster who did this to Riley.

He let her kill herself.

Dear A,

He’s right. He’s always right. The spiders won’t stop…

Always come. They can’t stop. He can’t.

They are inside me, all over me.

My skin burns. Cutting my skin doesn’t help.

I try, I try, but they won’t go.

Pain. So much pain. And blood. Everything is blood.

I cry, but there’s no tears.

I think the only way to truly run is to stop running. To stay still, to never move again.

I’m tired of running, Asher. I’m tired of this pain.

I want the quiet. I want the weightless feeling of… nothingness.

Tick tock. Tick tock.

‘What flowers do you want for your funeral?’ he asks.

I hate flowers.

I tell my doctor how much I hate flowers.

Doctor T says it's okay, he will save me.

Asher, I miss you so much. I miss you.

Will you come at least to say goodbye?

Please?

Riley.

I was eighteen when I left Hollow Heights with my mother, happy to finally break free from the small town that had always been too small for me and my dreams.

My only regret was leaving Riley behind in Hollowhaven asylum.

When I first left, Riley and I had kept in touch for a while. She used to send letters, saying that writing to me was part of her therapy and that reading my letters helped her not think about other bitter things.

And then, one day, the letters just stopped.

No goodbye. No explanation. Just silence.

I assumed she got busy, and then I got busier.

And then, out of nowhere, fifteen months after her last letter, another one came. Her writing was a messed scribble, and the words were barely coherent.