Page 43 of The Duchess’ Second Chance

She shed the dress and laid it carefully over her bed. As she did so, she found herself glancing over her shoulder again and again, looking for any indication that Sampson might be returning. Anticipating the door flying open again at any moment, his tall, broad frame appearing in the doorway. Imagining that smile on his face that made her weak in the knees, his voice telling her that he found her appealing.

Every time she looked over her shoulder, the door was still locked, just as she had left it. I have nothing to worry about, she reminded herself again and again. No one can come in. There is no reason for alarm.

But there was. Because alarm wasn’t what she was feeling.

Instead, when she looked over her shoulder at the locked door and reminded herself that Sampson was not going to suddenly re-enter the room, the emotion that took root inside her was something like…disappointment.

And that was a realization so confusing that she couldn’t manage to sort it out in her mind at all.

She dressed quickly and did her best to drive the thought from her head, but it didn’t seem to want to go.

CHAPTER 21

“I’m glad I don’t have to go to the ball,” Rose announced, lying back on Amanda’s bed. “It seems an awful lot of work.”

“It can be,” Amanda agreed. “Though I think you’ll enjoy it when you’re a bit older, Rose. You’ll be attending these events yourself one day, you know.”

Rose’s face pinched. “Must I? I’m not a lady.”

“Not now. But you will be.”

“I don’t think I will,” Rose countered. “Even when I’m of age, I’ll still be an orphan and the daughter of commoners. Growing up in the household of a duke doesn’t change who I am, after all.”

Amanda turned away from the looking glass to face Rose. “You’re wrong about that,” she said gently. “It does change you. Of course, it will never change your character or who you are as a person, but your role in society will be changed by this. And that’s a good thing, Rose. It means that you’ll have more opportunities. It means that one day you might be able to marry a gentleman and create a fine life for yourself.”

“The way you did, you mean?” Rose asked, sitting up and dangling her legs over the edge of the bed. “You’re talking about a life like this one. Fine dresses and getting ready for balls. Spending an hour making sure your hair is perfect. Trying on five different necklaces to make sure you’ve chosen the right one.”

“Those things are a part of it,” Amanda murmured, turning back to the looking glass and touching the sapphire that hung at her neck. Was this the right necklace? She thought it looked good with the lavender of her gown. Certainly, it was better than the ruby she’d tried first had been. But tonight was important. The people at the ball would be looking for anything at all to gossip about, any reason to say she wasn’t worthy to be the duchess. She couldn’t afford to give them anything.

And then there was Sampson.

He’d agreed to come out with her tonight. She needed to show him that he hadn’t made a mistake. She wanted him to have a worthy duchess on his arm.

“You’ve never been so determined to look beautiful,” Rose commented.

Amanda laughed. “You don’t think I usually look nice?”

“I always think you’re beautiful,” Rose clarified. “It’s just that I’ve never seen you try so hard at it. It seems more important to you today than it ever has before. I wonder why that is?”

There was a witchy smile on her face. Amanda forced another laugh. “It’s just that this ball is so important,” she said. “Remember, this is the first time I’ll be appearing publicly as a duchess. People will be making judgments, and I need them to see that I’m worthy of my new position.”

“Do you?” Rose said skeptically. “I don’t think you do. What difference will it make if they don’t see it, after all? How will they do anything about it? They can’t stop you from being the duchess just because they don’t like it.”

“Well, that’s true,” Amanda admitted. “But it’s still important to make a good impression. Sampson has given us so much, and this is what I can do for him in return. I can allow people to see that he has a capable duchess by his side.”

“And choosing the right necklace will show them that?”

“It will help. They’ll see that I know how to present myself well, and that I care about doing that.”

“You know what I think?” Rose sat up straighter. “I think you’re doing this because you want Sampson to think you’re beautiful. You don’t care what everyone else thinks. You’ve never cared about that in your life. You just want him to admire you when he sees you. You’re trying to impress him.”

So that was what that look on her face was about. “Well, I suppose there’s some truth to that,” Amanda said. “I do want him to know that he made a good choice in marrying me. I want him to be glad that I’m the one he picked.”

“That’s not what I mean, though,” Rose said. “You’re still talking about being a good duchess, but I’m saying you want him to admire you. You want him to look at you and forget himself because he’s so caught up in how beautiful you look. You want him to feel nervous when it’s time to ask you for a dance, but to want to dance with you so badly that he overcomes his nerves. You want him to have eyes only for you, even though everyone else at the party will be looking at him.”

Yes. Yes, I want that.

But she couldn’t say so aloud. To do that would make those secret desires more real somehow. Instead, she tried to laugh again, but this time it sounded hollow. “Have you been sneaking into the library and reading books about romance, Rose?”