Page 20 of The Duchess’ Second Chance

“It wouldn’t matter if you were,” Sampson said with a scowl. “There’s no room for that sort of thing in my relationship with Amanda.”

“Amanda, is it?”

“She’s my wife, for heaven’s sake. Do you say I shouldn’t call my wife by her name?”

“Of course not, Sampson. I’m not telling you what to call anyone. I’m noticing, that’s all. I’m noticing that you’re calling her by her first name, as though the two of you have a relationship of some kind. You have to admit, it doesn’t really sound like you’ve just given her a home for George’s sake. It sounds like she means something to you.”

Sampson sighed. “Maybe she does,” he confessed. It was too hard to go on arguing about this when it was all he could do to quiet his own mind on the subject. “I don’t know. I do like her. And if you saw her…well, she’s very attractive. Any man would notice. George did always say she was lovely.”

“He did,” Oliver said with a fond smile. “He was certainly in love with her. But I never thought you would be.”

“I’m not. She’s his wife. I couldn’t feel that way about her.”

“He’d want her to be happy. I don’t think he would consider that a betrayal.”

“Maybe.” Sampson didn’t elaborate. He wasn’t sure he wanted to talk about his own feelings about taking a wife, about why it felt like something so different if he was actually attracted to her. He certainly couldn’t share with his friend what had transpired between his own mother and father. That was the kind of thing best kept behind closed doors. Even on the dark nights at the front when the men had opened up about their lives, that was one thing he had always remained quiet about. It hadn’t felt like a secret he could share.

And then, too, there was Amanda’s secret. Or maybe it wasn’t a secret. She had told him willingly enough that she’d never had a proper wedding night. But that wasn’t the sort of thing you could say to anyone else about your own wife.

It was all too complicated to explain. There was no way of talking about the strange feelings that had begun to surge within him every time he looked at Amanda. There was no way of explaining to his friend why those feelings were completely unacceptable and could never ever be acted upon.

“You ought to see how she feels about you,” Oliver suggested now. “Maybe she’d like to have a proper marriage to someone now that George is gone. Maybe she finds you as attractive as you find her. Isn’t it worth knowing, at least?”

“It’s none of my concern.”

“You’re impossible,” Oliver said with a sigh. “You always have been. You know, I should have known when I stepped off the boat that I would find you in this state, or something like it. I shouldn’t be surprised at all.”

“Someone has to care for her,” Sampson said stubbornly. “And you can say it isn’t my fault all you want, Oliver…”

“Because it isn’t,” Oliver said. “Nothing that happened is your fault.”

“But if it weren’t for me, George would have come home to her. Surely you can admit that I’m right about that.”

“We can’t know that,” Oliver said quietly. “You don’t know that’s true.”

“It’s likely.”

Oliver said nothing.

“So we don’t need to talk about fault. We only need to talk about responsibility. She is my responsibility now. I have a duty to her. Between the pledge I made to George and…what happened afterward.” He swallowed hard. “The only right thing to do here is to see to it that Amanda has everything she might want or need for as long as she lives. And my own feelings, no matter what they might be, just can’t be a part of that picture.”

“Stubborn as an ox, you are,” Oliver sighed. “But you always have been. Someday I hope you see things differently. That’s all I can say about it.”

But Sampson knew that he would never see things any differently.

If it weren't for me, George would be sitting at this bar with us. George would have come home to his wife.

It was a debt he could never hope to repay.

CHAPTER 11

“Amanda!”

Amanda dropped to her knees and caught Rose in a hug. “I’m so glad you’re here,” she said, pressing a quick kiss to the little girl’s cheek. “I can’t wait to show you our new home, Rose. You’re going to love it.”

“I missed you,” Rose said. “I can’t believe you’re a real duchess now!”

Amanda laughed. “I can’t quite believe it myself,” she confessed. “It’s strange, isn’t it?” She got to her feet and took Rose by the hand.