Page 113 of Ballad of Rioting Hearts

Bronx comes out of his dressing room as we head up. “Shit hit the fan?”

“Yeah.”

“He’s monosyllabic,” Golden says.

“Fuck,” Bronx says.

Ten years from now, will we still be doing this together? Or will losing Kelsey be the thing that breaks us apart?

Jasper and Rook fall into formation. One in front. One behind.

Sonatina comes out of her dressing room. My hands curl and my nails bite into my palms. Lennon is right behind her.

I can’t imagine putting up with Sonatina for another two minutes, let alone the years left on our contract. And then what? Will she just let me go? Like she didn’t cost me everything?

We take two carts to the stage. Sonatina and Lennon ride with Jasper. The three of us with Rook. The first time we’d taken this ride we’d all been so fucking excited. We’d made it to the next level. There was nowhere to go but up.

Kelsey and I had sat by side-by-side. Shoulders rubbing, grinning like we were fucking high.

I sit next to Bronx now. He side-eyes me like he thinks I might fucking lose it.

The carts stop and we climb onto the stage. The crowd starts to murmur like a wave. Off to the side, Sonatina is taking her special gold microphone out of its case.

Lennon has scurried off somewhere like the scared little mouse she is. Rook and Jasper have positioned themselves so they can see any threats.

“Are you still planning on announcing that you’re not with her?” Bronx jerks his head in Sonatina’s direction.

Kodiak appears from behind her and strides toward us. He seems as weighed down as I feel.

Did she tell him goodbye too? Is that why he’s here instead of with her? Shouldn’t he be letting her cry on his shoulder? Or sharing her bed like he has for weeks now? Shouldn’t he be protecting her as he told me he would? “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“She’s leaving,” he says.

“So?” I grab a fistful of his flannel. “You told me you would leave with her if she ever—”

“She doesn’t want me to go with her,” he snarls as he pushes me off him. “Do you really think I would be here if she hadn’t demanded I come back?”

I thought she would welcome it when he told her he’d go with her. I thought she would be safe.

“It’s time.” Golden stalks past us into the lights. He picks up his rhythm guitar.

Bronx waves at the crowd and takes a seat behind his kit.

“She won’t be there when we get back to the hotel. And that’s on you.” Kodiak shakes his head at me and walks out to his bass.

I stride onto the stage. Arms raised, I stir up the crowd before I even get to the mic. They’re as loud as ever. Their energy next level. It’s one of my favorite things about this life... one of the things that make us feel like gods.

I hum the first couple bars of the first song on our setlist.

They erupt as they work out what it is.

Twenty years from now, will this be just as addictive... fuck yes. I glance from Golden to Bronx to Kodiak. They all feel it too, and yet none of us are grinning the way we used to.

A woman screams in the pit and the back of my neck crawls.

Kelsey is alone.

The first few words come on autopilot.