Page 51 of Wicked Villain

Allegra

That bastard.

I’m still so damn furious.

It’s been a few hours now since my run-in with Lev, but my blood is still simmering.

I gaze ahead at the sea of bright red roses in the garden and inhale a slow breath, an attempt to calm my mind.

I’m sitting under the willow tree with my sketch pad. Zoya and I just got back from the doctor’s office.

As per my husband’s wishes, we went, and now I have a contraceptive implant in my arm.

I guess I should be happy I got to choose it this time. Papa had me on an injection that I stopped getting six months ago in prep for my marriage to Danillo. The damn thing made me sick. Papa didn’t care. He told me to suck it up and deal with it. He’d heard it was the best, so he was standing his ground.

My father being involved in any of my private business was so humiliating.

The implant I chose today apparently doesn’t have any of the terrible side effects I previously experienced with the injection. Still, I don’t like what getting it means.

I agree I should have it; it’s why I should have it that bothers me.

It means my husband plans to take my innocence sometime soon.

And damn me…

Every time I think about it, I get so aroused I can hardly breathe.

Even now, my lungs are burning.

It’s not the first time he’s been crass to me, but every time he does it, I lose control of that thing he stirs in my body.

I feel like I’m stuck in hell and the devil has a hold on me. Fighting with him in any sort of way only burns me out.

On top of that, I don’t know what to make of the small mercies he’s allowed me.

Working at the charity and going wherever I want are things I thought I would never be allowed. The going wherever I want part is entirely new to me. Papa never allowed me to do that. I’d like to think he was being overprotective because of the kidnapping, but I know he was protecting his investment with the Bellandis.

Being able to leave the house like a regular person and go to the mall or even to walk in the park feels like a gift. And as for finances, as Lev put it, he arranged a credit card in my name.

And it has an unlimited fund. I’ve never had access to money before. Not an allowance, or even pocket change.

I was already aware that the Karsavins fall into the billionaire bracket. I just never expected to have access to any of that wealth.

The irony in that would be me using that money to escape. If I did, I know I wouldn’t even get past the gates. There was a don’t-even-try-it warning about that in the pack Zoya handed me.

All these things…

They’ve opened the world to me, but I must never forget who Lev Karsavin is.

My wicked villain.

Just because the devil gives you a handful of beautiful things doesn’t mean you’re not in hell. And it absolutely does not make him a good person.

Lev’s non-negotiable refusal to let me see Mama is proof enough of that.

I can’t believe I won’t see her for weeks. The only time in my life that has ever happened is when Gabrielle and I were kidnapped.

I have the phone now, so I can call her, but that won’t be the same. Not to mention the fact that our calls will be bugged, so we can’t say what we really want to say.