Page 79 of All Your Dreams

Eli chuckles, the teasing fading from his expression as he looks my way. “Peyton deserves someone solid. Someone like you.”

The words hit deep inside me, making my cheeks heat up. One second I’m sitting there, and the next I’m crossing the room and hauling him into a tight hug. Eli lets out a startled laugh, but his arms come around me, one hand clapping hard against my shoulder.

Jax gasps dramatically. “Wow. Just gonna leave me out of the bromance?”

“You truly are unbearable,” Eli mumbles, repeating his earlier words.

“I'm emotionally available and would love a hug,” Jax corrects.

I pull back enough to look at him. “Get over here, then.”

Still laughing, Jax joins us, and the three of us hug it out. It shouldn't surprise me how natural it feels. These idiots have been my family for years. They've seen every version of me. The broke kid chasing impossible dreams. The guy who buried himself in work after losing his chance at taking care of his siblings. The uncle who has no clue what he’s doing but loves his niece enough to figure it out.

Now they get to watch me fall for someone again. It's terrifying, but also the best thing that's happened to me in a long time. Well, second only to Tilly.

“For the record,” Jax grumbles from somewhere between Eli and me, “you’re both crushing me.”

“You’ll survive,” I say, tightening my arms around them before letting go.

When we sit back down, silence settles over the studio. I pick absentmindedly at the guitar on my lap while Eli adjusts his. Jax stays unusually still, his gaze fixed somewhere beyond the windows.

“Everything good, J?” I ask him.

He lets out a slow breath before answering. “Therapy's been weird this week. I had a breakthrough that's been messing with my head. Then the group hug cracked open some old wounds I thought I'd dealt with.”

Eli's fingers still. The room goes quiet as he gives Jax his full attention. “Talk to us, J,” he says quietly.

“My therapist asked me if there was anything I still wanted answers to.” Jax shrugs, staring down at his tattooed hands. “At first I said no, thinking the past was the past. Why bring up all the bad shit when we could just focus on living a better life now? Then I got home and realized that was bullshit. There are still things I don't know about you two because some topics have always been off-limits.”

“We were all in survival mode. Back then, getting through the day mattered more than digging through the past. We shared a lot, just not everything,” Eli reasons.

“Exactly. Watching you two and finally talking about how Ollie feels about Peyton…It got me thinking about all the stuff we've never asked each other.”

I know exactly what he means. For years, we respected each other's silence because it felt kinder than prying at wounds that never seemed to heal. Somewhere along the way, that unspoken agreement became a habit, and we never had the conversations we needed most. Now that all three of us are in therapy, we might finally be ready to have them. Even if they hurt like hell.

Jax looks at me, all traces of the earlier ease gone from his face. “There’s something I’ve been wondering about. It’s probably dumb, but I haven't been able to get it out of my head since my last therapy session.”

“Why don’t you ask me and I can tell you if it’s dumb or not?” I suggest, preparing for whatever he wants to know. It could be anything knowing our past.

He sits forward, resting his fully inked forearms on his knees before meeting my eyes. “Why were you kicked out of the Bathersons' place?”

The air leaves my lungs in a rush. Of all the possible questions I expected, that one never even crossed my mind. My fingers tighten around the neck of the guitar until the wood creaks beneath my grip. I force myself to loosen the hold before I crack the damn thing.

I haven't spoken the Bathersons' name out loud in years. Hell, I barely let myself think about my second-to-last foster home outside my sessions with Dr. Patel. Looking back, they were the first family who made me believe I might finally belong somewhere. Not just me, but Livia and Chase too. Instead, theirs became the last house I lived in before the three of us found our way to each other during senior year.

My first instinct is to lie, pretend I don't remember enough to answer. Anything but walk back into that house in my memories. Some things stay buried because digging them up only leaves dirt under your nails.

That's what the old me would've done; kept the ugly parts of my life locked away where nobody could touch them. But these two aren't strangers asking out of curiosity. They're my brothers. If therapy has taught me anything, it's that trust isn't just believing someone will catch you when you fall. It's letting them see what broke you in the first place.

“Was it because you’re queer?” Jax asks bluntly when I don't answer right away.

“No.” I shake my head. “Sometimes I think that would've been easier. At least then I would've known they were throwing me out for who I was, not because of a lie that nearly ruined my life.”

Eli frowns. “What does that mean?”

“Their daughter got caught taking nudes that I assume were meant for her boyfriend. She panicked and told her parents I got her drunk and took them when she was passed out before assaulting her.”

“You’re fucking kidding,” Jax swears.