Page 129 of Across His Line

And then, behind her, somewhere in the room she’s in, I hear a low laugh. The same laugh I heard come out of a living room on Thanksgiving with the TV too loud. The same laugh I’ve heard through bedroom doors and across kitchens.

And then his voice, muffled, like he’s across the room: “—just tell her it’s for the—”

“Shh,” my mother says away from the phone. Then back to me, bright, “So, do you have it?”

I feel sick to my stomach.

“Mom,” I say. “Are you using with him?”

Nothing.

Not no. Not of course not. Not even how could you ask me that. Just nothing, the line open between us, and I can hear her breathing, and behind her, very faint, people.

“I can’t believe you’d ask me that,” she says finally. And she makes her voice sound hurt.

And I’m boiling over.

“I’m not using, Tessa. I told you I’m doing fine. I’m working. I’m trying. I call you up to ask for one thing, one fucking time, Tess, and you—” Her voice goes up and then catches. “You don’t know what it’s been like. You’re up there at your school with your parties and your little business. You don’t know a single thing.”

I know what clean sounds like from her.

This isn’t it.

She used to laugh about mothers getting high with their grown kids like it was some kind of family tradition.

And now this?

I’m already walking. I’m so upset that I don’t care about how cold I am, I don’t care about the snow on the ground.

“Tess?” she says. “Are you there?” She starts shouting, “Hello!”

“Yeah,” I mutter. I’ve hung up on her before, and it’s only given me bigger problems.

“So can you? The four hundred?”

“I can’t,” I say.

“That’s fucking bullshit, Tess—”

“I don’t have money, Mom!” I shout. “Do you think it just comes out of nowhere?”

“Ask your boyfriend then.”

I stop dead cold in the middle of the sidewalk. “What?”

“Yeah, the one that came to Grandma’s and beat the shit out of your cousin? Yeah,” she laughs. “You thought I didn’t hear about that?”

I can see Dylan telling her the wrong story, and I get so mad that now my face is hot. “He is not my boyfriend, and he has nothing to do with this.”

I end the call.

I storm off, heading back to Corvin Hall.

My phone buzzes in my hand. It’s her. I don’t want to answer. I know how this goes. I pick it up anyway to avoid evil voicemails she’ll leave me over the next few days.

“Yeah,” I answer.

“Listen to me clearly, right now, Tessa.” Her voice is low and serious.