Page 35 of The Cowboy Who Stayed

“It’s no showplace,” I add, shutting the door and coming to her side. “I’m only renting so I haven’t done much with it.”

“It’s immaculate,” she says. “I don’t see a single fleck of dust.”

I let out a bittersweet chuckle. “The military probably made me neater than I would’ve been on my own. Doesn’t do much for the decor though.”

“Not everyone’s into decorating,” she says with a shrug. Then she points at the heating pad in my left hand that I’ve forgotten I’m holding onto. “What’s that about?”

“This? Uh, oh… nothing.” I toss it onto the couch cushion next to the visible indent of where I’ve been parked through the evening.

That only draws her attention to the coffee table where the bottles of pain killers are.

I watch in real time as her veterinarian brain starts connecting dots.

“Are you alright?” she asks, brows knitting.

“Me? Why wouldn’t I be?” I answer blithely. “Just a long day. So what brings you to my neck of the woods, doc?”

She draws a breath and meets my eyes, the bashfulness returning. “I came to apologize.”

“Gotta be honest. That’d be last on my list of things to expect from you. Vivica Murphy apologizing? I never figured you for the type.”

“I’m not,” she admits with a small, self-aware smile. It flickers in and then promptly disappears. “I’m extremely hard-headed. Ask anyone in my family, they’ll confirm it. But I know when I’m wrong, and I’ve been wrong about how I’ve handled things between us.”

“Oh yeah?” I ask, sliding my hands into the pockets of my sweatpants. “What makes you say that?”

“I’ve been too eager to push you away. I think part of that was your age. My mind keeps reverting back to the idea a man twenty years younger than me could never be serious. He could never be a viable partner. It doesn’t matter how genuine you are, that’s been my inherent bias.” She pauses for a sigh and shake of her head. “But I need to get over that block. Remind myself the person matters more than the age. I’ve enjoyed our time together, Rhett. A lot more than I ever anticipated. I’ve started looking forward to seeing you each day. I never expected that.”

“What are you saying exactly?”

“I’m saying… I don’t want to stand in my own way. I don’t want to let myself sabotage whatever this is.”

“I’m not too sure I know myself.”

“At least we’re on the same page about that,” she says. “I don’t want to pretend I have it figured out. But I do know I think of you as a friend. A real one. Maybe we could start there and see where it goes.”

“Friends with benefits?” I offer, my crooked grin spreading.

She laughs, her face lighting up. “You read my mind.”

“I know you better than you think, Miss Vivica.”

“I’m beginning to think that’s true,” she admits. “You’ve definitely pulled off a feat. After my divorce, I swore off men for good. I told myself I’d never put myself in a position to get my heart broken again.”

“Anybody would feel that way. But I’m not your ex-husband.”

“No, you’re not. Which is what makes it unfair to you when I use my past as an excuse to push you away. I didn’t mean to make it seem like I was using you. I want this to be mutual.”

The sincerity in her tone melts away any hurt feelings I had developed.

I was sick and tired of feeling like I was being taken for granted. I was letting myself believe we’d found a connection when Vivica was all too eager to rain on that parade.

But I haven’t been innocent either. I decide to let her know that.

“You told me what it was from the beginning. I’m the one who couldn’t handle it. Then got mad about it.”

She smirks. “Guess everybody has their hangups, don’t we?”

“No argument there. But all I’ve wanted from the jump is to get to know you. That’s it.”