Page 33 of The Cowboy Who Stayed
I laugh lightly then give my best shot at casual small talk. I last about forty-five seconds before the dam bursts and I’m spilling everything that’s been on my mind.
Auntie listens on as I tell her the truth about that night at The Hen House. I met a cowboy who I started sleeping with. We agreed to keep it casual, but suddenly it feels a lot less no-strings-attached fun and a lot more intense and complicated.
She’s silent as I update her on today’s events, where Rhett told me I treat him like a toy.
“So let me get this straight,” she says. “You’ve been getting it in with a fine young cowboy, he brings you dinner, he takes care of you in bed, and your biggest complaint is that he’s catching feelings?”
“He’s not catching feelings, Auntie.”
“You listen to the same story you’ve told me? Sounds like he wants more.”
“He’s twenty-six.”
“Your point would be?” she asks sassily. “What’s him being twenty-six got to do with anything?”
“Most men that age aren’t looking for serious. They’re looking for fun.”
“That may be. Most his age might be looking for easy coochie. But ever think he’s not most men?”
“Then why did he agree to our—”
“Baby, did that man not just tell you he’s tired of being treated like a sex object? Like he doesn’t matter to you?”
“I told him I can only do casual. I made that clear from the beginning.”
“You did. But ever think maybe he agreed hoping to change your mind? For access to you, even if it wasn’t what he wanted?”
I press my fingers against my closed eyelids and let out a slow sigh. “Auntie, I’m not sure I buy what we have is anything more than sex. He’s cute and funny and sweet, but—”
“But what?” she presses. “You want to know what I think is going on? This ain’t about his age or your age. This ain’t even about what people around town say.”
“Don’t say it.”
“Baby, this is about Craig. He hurt you so badly, you think you can never try again.”
“I’m done talking about him.”
“You’re not done being hurt by him though,” she says perceptively. “You were seriously ill, and he was out fucking anything with a pulse. He wasn’t there for you when you were sick from chemo. He was filing for divorce—”
“No need for the trip down memory lane. I remember all too well.”
“Not every man is Craig. Does it sound like it’s fair for you to punish that cowboy for what Craig did to you?”
“It’s not him, okay? I know that. It’s me. I’m the problem here. I’m the one who doesn’t have it in me to do it again, Auntie. How do I fix that?”
“You do some real soul searching and make sure that’s what you want before you push that man away for good. I can’t make the decision for you. That’s on you, Vivica.”
We hang up without the situation resolved.
I’m as confused as I was when placing the call. As I set down my phone and pad over to the front window, I can practically see Rhett’s red pickup truck in the drive.
The corner of my mouth quirks slightly. My heart skips a beat from the fondness that rushes me.
The answer seems so obvious. But the scary part is trusting myself to take the leap again…
TEN
Rhett
