Page 44 of Smash

A wave of relief hit as we pulled up to the theater. The giant neon billboard was a stark contrast to the dark tension in the backseat of that Uber. Rafe walked a bit ahead of us to handle our tickets. Then he handed us each a Playbill.

Once inside, I marveled at the beauty of the building. It was my first time inside a Broadway theater. There were ornate chandeliers, and the walls were covered in gold-rimmed mirrors. As we waited in line to enter the auditorium, I looked through the booklet and flipped to the section with the cast photos. There she was: beautiful, blonde Cara smiling back at me, her teeth perfectly white.

The musical, Electric Avenue, had been on Broadway for only about a year. It featured an original score of pop-rock music. It was about a group of musicians and artists who all lived on the same street and followed them as they chased their dreams.

Once the show started, I got chills. I’d always wished I could sing or act, perform on a stage. But I didn’t have it in me. Instead, I’d been gifted with a wild imagination. Maybe someday I’d create a work that others would perform.

Fortunately, I was able to get lost in the show, which was a testament to the talent of the cast and creators. Distraction was a tall order tonight after that car ride from hell. During the intermission, I escaped to the bathroom and spent most of the time staring in the mirror, torturing myself with silent judgment.

After the performance, Rafe brought us backstage. We met several cast members and praised them for their amazing performances.

When Cara emerged, face still full of stage makeup, I straightened my posture. It felt strange to be meeting someone for the first time when I felt I already knew her, thanks to my stalking.

Rafe introduced Cara to Calder and me.

“It’s so great to meet you,” she said. “When Rafe and I met, he mentioned his best friend moving back to town. I told him how lucky he was to still be friends with his childhood BFF.”

“Yeah.” Calder shrugged. “Unfortunately, he can’t get rid of me.”

Calder seemed unusually timid, and I guessed he was a bit starstruck by Rafe’s beautiful girlfriend—or whatever she was to him. Anyway, I couldn’t blame him. Cara made me a bit nervous, too.

“Are you guys down to join Rafe and me for a drink?” Cara asked.

I looked over at Calder, who seemed about to decline. But I intercepted before he could. “Yeah. That’d be great.” I turned to him. “Wouldn’t it, Calder?”

“Sure. It’s not a work night. Why not?”

So the four of us walked to a bar just a block away in the theater district and found a table.

Cara and Rafe sat across from us, and I had a front-row seat to her hanging all over him. To be expected. This was the reality check I’d signed up for and wanted, right?

Rafe continued to be quiet, only speaking when spoken to and not making eye contact with me. As Cara and I made small talk, Rafe put his arm around her. I tried to ignore the unsettled feeling in my stomach while he and Calder started a conversation about things that needed maintenance around the house. Calder offered to handle the logistics of getting the hot water heater replaced.

“So, how did you and Rafe meet?” I asked Cara.

“I went to one of his art shows with my friend,” she said. “I was totally mesmerized. After, I went over and introduced myself. We chatted for a while and then he asked me if I wanted to get a drink.”

“Nice.” I swallowed.

She played with the straw in her margarita. “What about you and Calder?”

“We’ve been together since college. We did long distance for a while with the expectation that we’d eventually move in together in New York. Thankfully, I was finally able to find a job here.”

She tilted her head. “What do you do?”

“I’ll be starting a position as an editorial assistant for a big-five publisher soon.”

“Oh, that’s so exciting.”

“Not as exciting as your career, but yeah. I’m looking forward to it.”

I took a long sip of my Cosmo. Cara was as nice as she was talented. I could see why Rafe was drawn to her.

Calder and I left before they did, and on the car ride home, Calder couldn’t stop talking about how great Cara was. He noted, though, that “Rafe will probably fuck it up.”

***

The following Monday, Calder left early for work in the City. We were finally back to a routine again, with him not being away on business. Though I was still moving more slowly. This would be my last week before starting the new job.