Page 63 of Playboy Pilot

When we returned to our spot, Kendall slipped on her dress, while I looked around for my pants.

“Where the fuck are my pants?”

She squeezed out the water in her hair. “You can’t find them?”

“No. They’re gone. My underwear, too.”

“Is this a joke? Does it have something to do with those lights we saw?”

“Someone apparently decided it would be hysterical to take only my clothes.”

Kendall covered her mouth. “Oh my God. I don’t mean to laugh, but this is nuts. Do you want me to walk back to your house and get you some pants?”

“That would be great, except for the fact that my house key was inside my pants!”

“Shit.” She threw her thong at me. “Here.”

“What are you doing?”

“Put it on.”

“That little thing is not gonna cover half of my junk.”

“It’s better than nothing.”

Rubbing my temples, I tried to think. My house was over a half-mile away.

“Let’s run to Gordon’s house. Compared to my place, he’s pretty close to here, just around the corner. He’s probably sleeping, but he keeps a key in the plant pot outside his door. I’ll go in there and get some pants.”

Kendall and I couldn’t help laughing our heads off as we ran. With one of my hands holding hers and the other covering my ass, we finally made it to Gordon’s doorstep. She waited outside for me.

Gordon was snoring as I entered his bedroom. His closet door creaked as I opened it, causing him to jump awake.

“Dad,” I whispered. “It’s me. It’s okay.”

“Brucey?”

“Yes.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I need to borrow some pants.”

“What kind of trouble did you get into?”

“I was skinny dipping with a girl, and someone stole them.”

“Michelle Pfeiffer?”

“Yeah.” I smiled in the dark.

“Atta-boy.” He then simply rolled over and began snoring again.

Securing Gordon’s loose trousers with a belt, I returned outside to rejoin Kendall. We couldn’t stop cracking up as we made our way back to my house. The pants were loose yet ridiculously short on me.

After breaking through a window, I carried Kendall into my bedroom and without even putting her down, reached into my drawer for a condom.

“Please tell me your taking those pants off.”