Page 54 of Playboy Pilot

“You’re like that van that shows up at the supermarket trucking the elderly around.”

“Basically, a few times a month, I am.”

“Wow. I guess there are a whole lot of things I didn’t realize about you, Carter.”

“There’s a lot more I hope to show you, baby. Trust me.”

“Don’t even try to act sexy on that fucking thing,” I said as we continued to roll along.

“This would definitely be the first time I’ve ever tried to seduce someone on a Segway.”

“Where are we going anyway?”

“We’re almost there.”

“Where?”

“My father’s house.”

“Your father? I thought your parents were in Michigan?”

“They are.”

“I’m confused.”

“You’ll get it pretty quickly. Remember what you told me back in Amsterdam…to just play along?”

“Yes.”

“That’s what I’m about to ask you to do.”

CARTER HAD A KEY to enter one of the other units. A man who looked to be in his eighties sat in front of an older television set.

“It’s about time, Brucey! My fucking feet are killing me.”

Brucey?

Carter glanced over at me with a smile. “Don’t embarrass me in front of my friend, old man.”

“What are you doing with Michelle Pfeiffer?”

“It’s not Michelle Pfeiffer, Pops.”

“Who is it, then?”

“Her name is Kendall.”

“Ken Doll?”

Carter raised his voice. “Kendall…Kendall.”

“Whatever. Come cut my toe nails.”

“They haven’t been done since I was last here?”

“Who else is gonna do them?” the man grumbled.

“True. Where did you put the clippers?”