Page 84 of Badd B*tch

“Tea," she scolded. "Come on."

"Fine! There might be some feelings. Happy?”

"Getting there," she said, excitement in her voice. "Did you get your dingle tingled?"

I sputtered. "Did I what?"

"Get your dingle tingled." She grinned at me. "Your muffin fluffed." She elbowed me in the ribs. "Hanky-panky. A li’l sum-sum."

"Tania. Don’t be a child." I studiously avoided her eyes.

"You did!" she squealed. "You hooked up with him! In the woods!"

"We didn't hook up," I insisted.

"But something happened."

"Something happened," I confirmed. "No details." I stabbed a pointer finger at her.

"Oh, come on. You tell me everything." She slapped my arm. "You've written me some very detailed letters, if you remember."

"This is different."

She peered at me. "Oh. Like with…"

Tania knew me better than anyone, and I knew I couldn't hide this from her. "More than that," I whispered.

"How long were you out there?"

I shrugged. "Not long. A couple days."

"And it's more than with…" She trailed off rather than say Luke’s name.

I nuzzled her cheek. "You can say his name. I won't fall apart."

"How did it happen?"

I shrugged again. "I dunno. It just did. It just sort of… developed. He's like no one I've ever met, Tanny. He's…he's amazing. You'll see when you meet him."

"You gotta give me more than that, Tater-Bug."

I grimaced at her. "Ew, no. We're not calling me that."

"Yes, we are, Tater-Bug."

"No, we're not, Tania Lasagna."

She dissolved into giggles—it was an old inside joke between us. She always called me that, Tater-Bug, because I hated it. The problem is, I could never come up with anything similar to call her, because Tania doesn’t really shorten or lend itself to cutesy nicknames. I’ll call her Tanny once in a while, even though her name is pronounced TAHN-yuh and the nickname is pronounced Tan, like what you get when you lie out in the sun. So eventually, I started calling her Tania Lasagna as a comeback to Tater-Bug because it rhymes, it's stupid, and one time she ate so much lasagna she got sick. The military habit of using embarrassing stories for nicknames dies hard, I tell you.

She squeezed my shoulders in a shaking, bone-rattling side hug. "Tea, stop being difficult and tell sissy about the boy."

I sighed. "You are so juvenile sometimes, Tania."

"Awwww," she said, in a baby-talk voice. "Is itty bitty Tater-Bug feewing big feewings?" She pinched my cheek. "When we have big feewings, we talk about them."

"I'm gonna shave your head while you’re asleep."

"Cool. I'd rock the GI Jane look."