Page 123 of Badd B*tch

"Am I wrong?"

"No, you're not," I said, loud enough for her to hear. "Kieran is amazing, but he's crazy. And yeah, ‘needs time to cook a bit more’ is a good way of putting it."

Tea sighed. "Do what's best for you, honey. But I should tell you, I've decided to stay in Ketchikan."

"For how long?"

"Yes?”

"Really?" Tania sounded surprised. "What about Linus?"

"He's stepping back from international travel. I'm gonna consult on a new Roth design and learn how to be a girlfriend who lives with her boyfriend."

"Wait, what?"

“Yeah, we’re moving in together."

"You've known him less than a month, you lunatic."

"When you know, you know.”

"Is that a thing? I didn't think that was a real thing."

"It's a real thing, apparently,” Tea said. "Much to my own shock."

Tania was silent a moment. "I do want that."

"I know."

"And I care for Jake, a lot."

"But?"

"I think before I fill in that 'but what,’ I need to figure some things out for myself. Have I really given Jake a fair chance? I dunno. Maybe I haven't. Maybe I don't know how. I'm just confused because I keep thinking about Kieran, but I'm also thinking about Jake…"

Tea laughed. "You need to step back and do some self-assessment. May I suggest life-altering trauma for the lady? Nothing makes you really consider your life choices like almost dying, you know."

Tania laughed. "Who even are you anymore? Since when are you wise and funny?"

"I had an injection," Tea deadpanned. "Several of them, courtesy of Jax."

I spluttered, Tania spluttered, the table next to us spluttered, and Tea just looked pleased with herself.

"Damn, Tater-Bug, okay now, gurrrrrl," Tania drawled. "Getcha some!"

"Oh, I did."

I was beet red and dying of laughter, face in my hands, forehead on the table.

"I'm so incredibly fucking happy for you, sissy. Now just send some of that energy my way."

"I will. I love you with all my heart, Tania Lasagna." I blinked at her, and she covered the mouthpiece. "It's because it rhymes and the name Tania doesn't turn into any good nicknames."

“Jax?" Tania called, and Tea handed me the phone.

"Yeah? Hey, this is Jax."

"Tell Kieran I'm sorry I ghosted him. He asked me to coffee, but I just…couldn't. It's not him, it's really not. I've got some shit to figure out."