Page 139 of Broken & Bound

She jammed a huge spoonful of her dessert into her mouth. The movement was frantic as she swallowed a jagged sob alongside the frozen sweetness. The sob spilled out anyway, warping her features into pure heartbreak.

Bethany’s eyes locked onto us, heavy with concern. I flashed her a quick warning wave, a silent acknowledgement that I had it under control. I shifted my weight and pulled Kinsley into my arms.

“You ca…can’t leave,” she sobbed. “Not now. We need you.”

“I can’t stay. It’s killing me.”

The minute the words left my mouth, the more determined I became. With a sureness I hadn’t felt in a long time, it resonated. I needed to put more than physical distance between us all.

I desperately needed to create emotional distance as well. It was a deliberate choice to detach from the life I once knew and what had become unbearable.

“But what about Izzy and the babies?”

Kinsley whispered the last part before another round of sobs wracked her frame. Guilt washed over me as she buried her head against me.

“Izzy won’t see me, Kins. She’s asked me to let her go. And the babies…are gone. I can’t fix this. Staying only makes it harder.”

“So, what? You’re going to start over, rebuild your life. Make new friends?”

“It’s not like that. It’s an escape, a chance to breathe. I need to get away from it. From the ghost of a future that can never be.”

“But—”

“Mouse—”

“NO! We need you. Izzy needs you. You can’t run away. That’s not how this works. Ask Marcel, he’ll te…tell you. You can’t run from your pain. You have to process it and de…deal with it.”

“I know. And I am. In the only way I know how.”

She beat her fists against my chest, and I winced as she hit one of the tender spots.

“It’s not fair. You can’t abandon us like this. We’re a family and family sticks together through everything.”

I gathered her hands in one of mine, and she went slack, sobbing. I moved to rub her back.

“I’m not abandoning you,” I insisted.

The words felt hollow as they left my mouth.

“I’ll be a phone or text away. I’ll come back when I can. But right now, I need this. For my own sanity.”

“I’m scared, Pasha. Nothing is the same any more.”

“I know, Mouse. Me too. I’m sorry,” I whispered.

Alek came in as I was holding Kinsley, and he sighed heavily. He walked over.

“You made my girl cry, brother,” he said in Russian.

Her head whipped up. “Be nice,” she huffed. “Everything makes me cry and today is no different. I just want my family back, together, whole.”

She stood and pushed past him, and ran for the car. Marcus was waiting. He opened the door, but instead of climbing inside, she folded into his arms, seeking comfort. His eyes met ours through the window.

Alek took a seat. His shoulders sagged in defeat.

“This shit fucking sucks.”

I leaned back. “Tell me about it.”