Page 138 of Broken & Bound

But all of those options were no longer available. I needed this change. To drown in the busyness of a new training schedule. To push myself to the point of exhaustion. It would help ease the pain.

“I know I can’t stay, here. I’m surrounded by reminders of what I’ve lost. It’s suffocating, Marcel,” I said, breathing through the emotions threatening to unravel me as I stood at the door. I cleared my throat. “I need to find a way forward.”

He nodded, but his eyes didn’t lose their worry. He knew me too well by now. He knew this was me running away. There would be no starting over. That wasn’t what this was about.

Maybe Sebastian had been right all along. Maybe some losses didn’t heal. Maybe you simply learned to carry them. I could have shared that thought with Marcel, but what was the point?

He’d want to dissect it, and I didn’t have time. Kinsley would be upset if I were late.

“You’ll keep in touch, yeah?”

I saw the concern etched on his face and nodded. Because that’s what you did in situations like this. I wasn’t sure I would. It was painful enough to lose everyone.

Physical distance would hopefully allow me the space I needed to heal. With a broken heart, I stepped out into the hallway, the door clicking shut behind me. A surge of anxiety hit.

One more person to tell. I didn’t have to guess what her reaction would be.

Kinsley had been my anchor, my constant, for the last month and a half. And now, I was about to cut the last tether holding me to this place. The thought of devastating her twisted my stomach into knots.

I knew what family meant to her, the importance of consistency, and I was about to add to the chaos. But what option did I have? I walked across the street and through the familiar doors of the teahouse. I waved at Bethany, who was behind the counter.

“Your regular?” she called out.

I nodded. “Kinsley’s coming. Can you make her a Knickerbocker Glory?”

“Of course.”

I chose a table by the window. The afternoon sun filtered through the glass and was warm on my skin. My mind raced with what to say. How do you tell someone you love you’re leaving when they are the only person you have left in your life?

The bell chimed, and I looked up. She looked tired and worn. Worry filled her eyes when they landed on me.

“You’re not eating,” she remarked as she slid into the booth. “Between you and Isabella, I’m going to need to dig into my southern cooking arsenal to fatten both of you up.”

“How are you managing?” I asked, knowing her impulsiveness had to be driving her mad.

She shrugged and offered a polite smile to Bethany as she brought our things over.

“You know, taking it slow. Trying to not be a brat and rush things. It’s hard.”

Her eyes filled with tears, and I counted to three before she couldn’t contain them any more. I reached over and wiped several fat ones from her cheek.

“Always so dramatic, even your tears are extra,” I chuckled.

I took a deep breath. She was already crying. Might as well rip the Band-Aid off.

“Cirque du Soleil called again. They want me to join their troupe. They have a training camp coming up,” I said.

Her eyes clouded over more, and she sat back, a look of surprise on her face. “Tell me you’re not thinking about taking it?”

“I’m not—”

“Thank God,” she breathed, relief filling her pretty face.

“I wasn’t finished, Mouse. I’m not just thinking about it. I’m taking it.”

The sun caught the rich, chestnut depths of her hair. My gaze tracked the tiny brown freckle nestled in the bottom right corner of her iris. Her lower lip gave a single quiver before her face splintered.

I dropped my gaze to the table, unable to watch the collapse. Across from me, the sharp, hitching intake of her breath cut straight through me. Finally, I lifted my eyes.