Page 133 of Broken & Bound

“Don’t talk to me about what’s fair.” My chest rose and fell violently, each breath catching somewhere behind the sobs building.

“I’m living a ‘not fair’ life, trust me. It’s not fair that some stupid bitch took my life away from me. It’s not fair that while I lay bleeding out, all you could think to do was kick Pasha’s ass.”

Tears streamed unchecked down my face. I didn’t bother wiping them away any more.

“Do you realize what you did?”

The words cracked beneath the weight of everything I had been carrying alone.

“Do you even care? You come in here talking about moving on. For whom should I move on for? You? Mum? Dad?”

Every word landed. I watched more color slowly drain from his face.

“You cared more about your own feelings than the fact that you would have had two nieces to love on come February,” I choked out.

“Sixteen weeks.” My throat tightened so fiercely that I almost couldn’t force the words through it. “I carried those girls inside me. Sixteen weeks. And in order to avoid pissing you off—because I knew it would—I considered getting rid of them.”

His entire body went still.

“What?” His throat bobbed visibly. “Why?”

My laugh was hollow, devoid of any real humor. “Don’t worry, you weren’t the only reason. But you were near the top of the list.”

He stared at me as though he no longer recognized the woman sitting in front of him.

“Did you know all he wanted to do was tell you?”

Confusion replaced the shock. “What?”

“He wanted you to know about our relationship from the beginning. He wanted to shout it from the Goddamned rooftops and let the cards fall where they may.”

I scoffed, the sound brittle. I looked at the brother I’d spent my entire life admiring.

“He believed you loved me enough to be happy if I was. What a fool, right? I convinced him to wait. If you want to blame anyone for betraying you or lying, you have no further to look than at me, brother.”

“I don’t blame you, never you. He knew—”

A laugh burst out of me. It was as sharp and broken as me. Another followed, colliding with a sob before dissolving into something ugly and unrecognizable. My shoulders shook as I laughed and cried all at once, the sound bordering on hysteria.

“You’re so blind.” I shook my head, unable to stop laughing through the tears. “So damn blind.”

I dragged a hand down my face. “I’m the one that pushed for the relationship in the first place. Me. He fought me almost all the way.”

The realization crossed Sebastian’s face, piece by piece. His shoulders sagged. His mouth opened. Closed again. I wiped angrily at the tears that refused to stop.

“I’m sorry.”

I looked at him for a long moment and felt nothing. No anger. No comfort. No resolution. Nothing at all.

“You keep saying that,” I whispered, exhausted by the word itself, “but I want you to really think about the whole situation.”

I leaned toward him, every word scraping raw on its way out. “I lost so much blood, I almost died. And what were you doing while that was happening? Huh?”

Silence. His eyes dropped to the floor.

“Now you want to be quiet all of a sudden.”

“I don’t. If you would just—”