Page 32 of His Ruthless Vow

"What the hell were you thinking! The council never had to know. The alliance would've brought peace and⁠—"

"And what!" I hiss, refusing to take this verbal abuse any longer. I'm not his punching bag and I need him to know that. "You miss out on your precious money? Batya, this is my life." My fist pounds my sternum. "You are my father. You're supposed to protect me, not betray me."

My tears are so hot they feel scalding, my breathing so shallow, I feel lightheaded.

After what I told Dimitri the other day, in that moment, I still needed him. I found myself reaching for him instinctively like an anchor. There was a split second where nothing in my life mattered more than knowing he had my back, and he stood, spoke for me, and offered his support to me.

"You are my daughter and you will listen to what I say!"

The shouting continues down winding roads under a cloudy winter sky until we park out front of our home and Mamochka helps Natalia slide out of the SUV. If the only thing I've done tonight was save her from a miserable fate, so be it. My father's anger with me is the least of my concerns.

"You come back here, young lady," he snarls as I climb out, but I ignore him, marching ahead of my mother and sister with him hot on my tail. He grabs my arm at the door, spinning me around as Yuri stalks ahead to unlock the house. "You destroyed what I worked so hard for two years to accomplish."

Jerking my arm away from him, I rub where he grabbed me and shiver. The air is so crisp, it makes everything feel that much worse. The ice between my father and me is as thick as the icicles hanging from the awning overhead.

"Can you see what this has done to both families?" I'm incredulous. The very fact that he can't see it says so much about him I should've known earlier. "Do you really think Dimitri would've given up his entire family, his inheritance for⁠—"

"That man is a fool!" Batya growls, and the words claw at my heart. Dimitri just basically told his father he was no longer a Sokolov. He's making moves to leave Moscow right now, even as I stand here fighting with my father who should never have attempted an alliance with them.

"Any alliance formed in blood is wrong," I hiss, stepping aside so Natalia can pass by. Her dress drags at the ground being soiled and dampened by melted snow and ice left from the storm weeks ago. It's bittersweet to see her in that, knowing how beautiful she is, but how sad she must be and how relieved I am.

"You're nothing but a petulant child. You cause problems everywhere, and now you've cost me time, money, and manpower. This war will continue to rage in the streets for months until I can manage to bring Mikhail back to the table and⁠—"

My stomach churns at his insults and I turn and walk into the house, ignoring him. I feel sad and sick to my stomach. I'm sick of being yelled at and right now, the only thing I want is for someone to comfort me.

I did what I had to do and nothing more. When Dimitri let me hold his hand is the safest I've felt all day, and I need to feel that again.

"You okay?" Natalia whispers as I walk past where she's stripped out of the massive gown in the living room and stands in her body slimmer, studying me with concern.

I grab her hand and drag her toward the stairs, ignoring the look of disappointment in my mother's eye. Of course she'd be disappointed. She never wants to rock the boat. She'd prefer if I just keep fawning the way I always have and play along. But Dimitri awakened something in me that refuses to fawn now. I have to fight. And that's what I'm going to do.

"Lana," she hisses, struggling against my tight grip as I drag her into the bedroom and slam the door shut. I've made up my mind. Any man who can ignore my pain and do what's best for himself without any regard for me is no man I want to live with. I'm not staying here a second longer.

"I'm leaving," I tell her bluntly as I stomp to my dresser and open the top drawer. Scooping up a handful of underpants and socks, I stalk to my bed and drop them, then turn back for T-shirts and jeans.

"What?" she mumbles, furrowing her brow. "You can't leave, Lana. Where will you go?"

She's been so good to me, keeping my secret, but this baby cannot be raised in this home. I won’t allow it. I don’t know where I'll go or what I'll do, but if this is how my father is going to treat me, with no regard or hint of safety, my child can't be raised here.

"I don't know," I grumble. Then I tug at the zipper fruitlessly for a few minutes until Natalia rises to unzip me. When I’m out of the dress, I throw on some jeans and a sweater and find socks and my fur-lined boots.

"Lana, but the baby," she says quietly, and I hear the concern in her tone. She's right to be concerned. I've never had a job. Never had to support myself at all, and now I'll be a single mother out there fending for myself. There's no way my father will support this or send me out with money to take care of myself. The moment I leave this house, I'm cut off—just like Dimitri.

But he knows how to make it. I’ve been sheltered my whole life.

"The baby is the exact reason I have to go," I tell her plainly, jamming my feet into the boots. "I can't raise this baby in this house, Natalia." I turn and stand in front of her, shaking at the thought of leaving. I could go to a hotel for tonight. I have my savings and some of the trust fund set up for me. It's not much, less than fifty grand—if I get to it and transfer it out before Batya disowns me—but it's enough to get set up somewhere and look for a job.

"You'll really just leave?" Natalia stands and walks over to me, taking both hands into hers and frowning, complete with a lip pouted out.

"Look," I tell her, refusing to let her guilt me the way our mother does. "I need you to be strong for me. I have to do this. I can't stay here anymore, Nat. This baby is a link between the families that someone somewhere will exploit next. If they can't force you to marry Alexei, they'll find a way to manipulate this and take my child."

She shudders and I see her eyes well up with tears. My leaving might just mean not talking to her a for a while. No more late-night chats on the foot of my bed or slow, lazy breakfast dates. When I cut ties, Batya will force her to stop talking to me at all.

"You could just to go a clinic and⁠—"

"No." My firm statement is all she needs to know I'm not doing that. I won't abort my baby. I might not be able to be with Dimitri, but I also won’t kill my child because my father is a monster. "I'm keeping this baby, Nat, and I'm protecting it with my life. Do you understand?" I squeeze her hands hard as I look her in the eyes, then drop them and walk to my bag to start shoving things into it.

"But where will you go?" she asks, spinning around to look at me.