Page 25 of The Spare

“Well, whenever you need a hand with anything, you know where to find me. My little girl is turning five this month. So I know starting school is going to cost me when she wants to be styling and profiling for her friends.”

I chuckle. “You got it, man. I promise you’re the first one I’ll call.” I give him a playful slap on his beefy biceps.

He lifts the rope, and I make my way inside. I’m sure there are jeers from behind me, but the last thing I’d need tonight is to wait and ponder this date. I’d hightail it back to my car if I was left to my own thoughts that long.

Heading to the bar, I stand at the end closest to the front door, as I instructed Emmaleigh I would, so Chloe will be able to find me. She’s supposed to be a blonde, about my age, wearing a light blue dress.

“Sam,” Axel greets from behind the bar. “It’s been too long.” He extends his hand for a shake. “How’s it going?”

“Good,” I lie, shouting over the loud beat of the music. “Busy with the winery. Lots to do.”

“What can I get ya?”

“I’ll take a Scotch. Thanks.” Turning toward the front door, I notice a tall blonde heading in my direction. She has her long hair down, a warm smile across her face.

“Sam?”

“Yes. Chloe?”

A blush stains her cheeks, somehow illuminating her angelic blue eyes. Well, this is already going a thousand percent better than the last four dates combined. And she’s only said one three-letter word. What is it about her that already has me feeling at ease? It’s a strange familiarity to have with someone I’ve just met.

Axel returns with my drink. “Can I get you something from the bar?”

“I’ll take a club soda and lime, please.”

“Coming right up, beautiful,” Axel answers before disappearing back to where he just came from.

We grab a seat at a pub table and start to chat. She seems sweet. Grounded. I actually feel a small glimmer of hope. She’s a pediatric nurse, deeply connected to her family, and possesses a genuine girl-next-door charm that feels like a breath of fresh air after the previous disasters. I’d hoped for as much after speaking with Emmaleigh. On paper, she was ideal. But then again, my matchmaker had high hopes for the other two, who were nowhere close.

We sip our drinks, talking for nearly an hour about her work, her brothers, and her love for simple, quiet weekends. But as the night wears on, a cold, heavy knot begins to form in my chest. The kinder she seems, the more a persistent memory hovers between us. Of someone else who is sweet. Who works in healthcare. The quintessential girl next door.

And she reminds me entirely too much of her.

Every time Chloe laughs, my brain traitorously searches for a teasing note. The throaty, sarcastic giggle of a girl who used to race me through the vines. Every time Chloe smiles, I find myself longing for the electric spark of suspicious blue eyes glaring back at me. Always weaponized with a sharp insult. One I deserved.

What did it mean that while I was here with this sweet beauty, I preferred to argue with her?

The more I tried to fight it, pushing thoughts of Alexis out of my mind, the clearer the brutal truth became. None of these girls could do the job.

As if I conjured her up, like a mirage, my gaze lands on a blonde laughing amongst friends with a cocktail glass in her hand. She’s on the dancefloor, her arms waving in the air, head thrown back in utter glee. My body is on full alert, thrumming with electricity. It’s got to be her. The sight takes me back to a time I’d nearly forgotten. I haven’t seen Alexis this happy since we were kids.

Here, in this crowded club, it hits me that I’m largely to blame. Not that her joy is dependent on me. She’s an amazingly strong, independent woman. She’d never need a man to be happy. But I honestly did what I thought was right.

Alexis Patterson had suffered enough with the loss of her parents and her Gram. She deserved far more than to be in a relationship with a guy who would only hurt her. One that would never hold a candle to his successful brother or the classmates who were bound for medical school. My mother reminded me of this on the regular. How selfish would it be to hold her back?

There was a kinder way to do it than the way I chose. Yet I know Alexis. She’s loyal to a fault. If I hadn’t have been cruel, she would’ve been quick to forgive my behavior. And I didn’t deserve it.

So what makes me think I do now?

My hand shakes as I take my last sip of Scotch. The slow burn down my throat is doing nothing to help with this realization. Not one of the women I’d met had the spine to enter into a fake, high-stakes arrangement without falling apart or taking advantage of me. None of them knew the history or understood what Sutter Creek meant to me or this town.

“Chloe, it’s been great getting to know you. But I need to be honest. I thought I was ready to meet someone. Yet it wouldn’t be fair to start a new relationship with any woman, much less one as kind as you, when I haven’t recovered from the last one who stole my heart.”

Last one?

The only one.

“I’m sorry. I felt I should be honest with you.” I stand and take her hand in mine, bending to place a kiss on her knuckles. “Any man would be lucky to spend time with you. I hope you find one worthy.”