Page 103 of The Spare

My head falls back in laughter. These two. “Never stop being you, Georgia. Ever.”

She beams at me around her fingers.

“You were saying,” Lilly encourages me to continue, shaking her head at her sweet friend on the coffee table.

“I was already in counseling to deal with the loss of my parents when Sam pushed me away. Then the odd taunts began. The constant need to pull my hair ties off my braids. He wanted nothing to do with me anymore, but was always sitting behind me. Then at random times, he’d lean into my ear and annoy me with a mouthful of Pop Rocks.”

Georgia lights up. “Oh, I miss those. What flavor?”

Lilly clears her throat. “You’re missing the point, Georgia. And the last thing you need right now is sugar.” She places her hand over Georgia’s mouth and turns to me. “Go ahead, Lex.”

I bite my lower lip so I won’t laugh out loud and possibly hurt poor Georgia’s feelings. “My counselor thought he was doing those things because he liked me, but encouraged me to ignore him. To hold my head high and demand respect. Not to cower to his childish antics.”

“Oh, I think she was right.”

Lilly and I look at Georgia.

“After seeing the two of you together, I have a feeling he’s always had it bad for you. He was just too immature to act like it.”

Lilly shrugs in agreement. “It’s a good possibility.”

“I honestly don’t know what to think anymore. I fought hard to stay unaffected. I tried to use my heartbreak as a learning opportunity. To never let anyone’s treatment of me define who I was.”

“Say it louder for the girls in the back,” Lilly says, crossing her arms over her chest.

Georgia turns around, searching out the corners of Lilly’s living room as if someone could jump out from behind the furniture.

“But as hard as I’ve tried…” My voice trembles, feeling exposed. “I’ve never been able to get over him. And I knew entering this marriage could be a huge mistake. But saving the vineyard felt like the right thing to do. Well, and…”

“And what?” Georgia asks, her mouth open in anticipation.

My hands fly over my face. I’m utterly ashamed to admit this. Even to them. “I didn’t want him to marry someone else.” My boisterous companions are suddenly silent. I peel my fingers apart to glance in their direction.

They’re mouthing something back and forth to one another.

“What? Tell me.”

“I would’ve done it,” Lilly affirms.

“Me too,” Georgia chimes in.

My shoulders relax. I should’ve known they’d never judge me.

“You two have been through so much, Alexis. But the couple we witnessed at that wedding? The way he looked at you when you walked down the aisle? That was meant to be. There was no faking what you two have.”

“Please don’t give up hope yet,” Georgia adds. “Give yourself some time to let the dust settle. But for years there’s been too much left unsaid between you. Once you’ve had a chance to wrangle your emotions, at least talk to him before you throw in the towel.”

Their words settle over me like a warm blanket. Their comfort easing the cold panic that drove me out of his house.

In the quiet of Lilly’s living room, I remember the way Sam looked at me on the taxiway, and again tonight right before his mother walked in. I remember that desperate, pleading look in his eyes. His voice cracking as he asked me not to give up on him.

“Please stay. Let’s make a real go of this marriage. No more contracts. Not because we have to do this to save the vineyard. Just two people who belong together.”

I take a steady breath, feeling the air fill my lungs completely for the first time all night. I set the mug down, wipe the lingering tears from my cheeks, and lift my chin. “You’re right. Once I can get my emotions in check, I’ll talk to him.” My eyes connect with my sweet, supportive friends. “Just not tonight.”

“No,” Lilly agrees. “Tonight, we need more drinks. And ditch that tea, sista. Let’s break out the tequila.”

Chapter Forty-Five