Page 73 of The Carnage We Keep

She laughs as she wraps an arm around me. “Babe, don’t ever change.” She sighs happily. “Okay, you were saying?”

“I was saying that it’s his fault we’re even having to do this. Oh, and he texted me right before I got here to ‘remind’ me that it was my fucking job to swing by City Hall later today to pick up our completed marriage license.”

Vesper sighs. “Yuck. Okay, I’m going to overlook his many physically appealing traits…God, even his name is hot…and still side with you.”

“Thank you,” I say primly.

“Which means I’m going to adopt the position that he’s a giant dickhead who needs to be fucked with. So…” She rubs her hands together. “How can I help?”

I groan. “I’d say ‘by being my lookout while I murder him’, but unfortunately that’s off the table.” I exhale. “I don’t know. How about you marry him?”

Vesper laughs. “I mean, show me some more pics like that and I could be convinced. But I feel he might notice if it’s me standing up there at the wedding and not you and your gorgeously stabby face.”

A cartoon light bulb suddenly goes off over my head.

And a very, very smug grin spreads over my face.

“Vesper?” I smile at her. “I have a huge favor to ask.”

13

DAMIANO

“I’m still waiting for the punchline.”

Cenzo looks up from the small black book in his hands and his brows pinch for a second before he sighs and rolls his eyes. “Dude, there’s no punchline.”

“Bullshit.”

“Dame, I just wanted⁠—”

“You got ordained on the internet.”

My brother exhales. “Yes.”

“To officiate my wedding.”

He pinches the bridge of his nose. “Also yes. I’m sorry, do you have a point? What about this isn’t clicking for you?”

“For starters, the fact that I know you,” I mutter. “There isn’t a world where you don’t use this scenario to amuse yourself at my expense.”

His mouth twitches.

“There,” I growl triumphantly, jabbing a finger at him. “Right there. That’s the face of a man with a punchline.”

He chuckles. “Honestly, this is the face of a man who thinks you’re being kind of an asshole right now.”

Rain taps steadily on the tall library windows behind him. This was originally supposed to be an outdoor affair here at the Drakos estate, with the small ceremony taking place against a backdrop of roses and the city skyline.

I mean, if I got my way, this would be done via video call. But Dimitra Drakos had other ideas.

I don’t care why this wedding is happening. My beautiful great-granddaughter is a Drakos. I have tolerated many ugly things for the sake of this family, but an ugly wedding will not be one of them.

I mean, I’m paraphrasing.

Despite her tiny, bird-like appearance, it’s pretty well known that Dimitra Drakos is not someone to be fucked with.

Unless you’re the weather, apparently.