Page 246 of The Carnage We Keep

His sheer size that I love so much is making it impossible for me to force the air into his lungs.

“Come on…” I croak, pinching his nose and lowering my mouth to breathe into him again.

And again.

And again.

I pull back, the whole world spiraling as I pound desperately on his still chest.

“Come on!” I'm able to say a little louder now. “Wake up! Wake the fuck UP!”

I return to his mouth.

Breathe.

Breathe.

Fucking BREATHE.

A wet droplet lands on his cheek. Then another.

For one disoriented second, I think maybe it’s started raining.

Oh my God…

I’m crying.

Really, truly crying.

A choked sound claws up from my throat as more tears stream down my face and splatter onto his. I pound on his chest, begging him to wake up and fucking breathe.

Nothing. Fucking. Happens.

“You don’t get to do this!” I cry out brokenly. “You don’t get to make me fall in love with you, and fucking save me, and then just die!!”

Tears flow freely down my cheeks as I pound his chest and bring my mouth to his again.

“I’m the one who’s supposed to die!” I sob, my voice shattering. “Not you!”

My shoulder feels like it’s being torn apart every time I move or take a breath. But that pain feels meaningless now.

This hurts more.

This is the worst agony I’ve ever felt.

“Please.” My voice is tiny.

I cling to his face, my hot tears falling onto his cheeks and chin as I sob and beg and plead with whatever god or gods I’ve never believed in, whatever cosmic ju-ju is out there, to fucking save him.

The deep, violent roar of a powerful engine thunders from behind me, followed by the squeal of tires.

I twist my dulled head to see a gleaming black vintage Mustang screaming across the empty parking lot toward me, making me flinch when it screeches to a stop a few feet away.

My heart clenches tight when Dad lunges out of the car and bolts over to me.

My face crumples.

“Daddy…”