Page 220 of The Carnage We Keep

And standing in the middle of it all, holding the blood-soaked hammer in one hand at his side, is Damiano.

This isn’t a version of him I have ever seen before. I’ve seen him lose his cool. I’ve seen him get messy. I’ve even seen him bloodied after that night with the Wolf Pack.

But right now is something else altogether.

He’s covered in blood; dripping from his hair, down his demon face, over the suit and shirt, now soaked through with gore, to the puddle forming at his feet.

His vicious glare lands on Caleb, who’s still writhing, sobbing and throwing up blood and bile all over the floor as he cups his pulverized crotch with his hands. He squirms and twists like a dying worm as Damiano draws in a slow breath.

Caleb’s scream turns into a wet, strangled gurgle when Damiano grabs a fistful of his hair and drags him across the floor in my direction. He stops well short of me, dumps Caleb on the floor in a shaking, blood-slicked heap, and only then closes the remaining distance himself.

I’m still frozen when he crouches in front of me, bringing his eyes level with mine.

The demon is gone, and suddenly, I’m looking at my husband again.

“He’s all yours,” Dame says, his tone edged and lethal.

My gaze slides past him to where Caleb is squirming and sobbing on the floor, holding the remnants of his reproductive organs.

My pulse hammers so hard in my ears that the sound is deafening.

I thought this moment would feel different.

I thought I’d feel triumphant. I thought it would feel like a held breath finally being let go. Like the universe's invisible scale would finally feel balanced.

Instead, I feel small.

Cold.

Scared and trapped.

I feel eleven years old again.

“I…can’t,” I choke hoarsely, staring at Caleb. “I…I…Dame…” My eyes slowly drag back to his as my face crumples. “I’m scared to.”

His brows draw together when I look pleadingly into his face.

“I’m scared I’ll kill him and nothing will change.”

Damiano stills.

“I’m scared I’ll do it, and it’ll be over, and I’ll still be the same fucked-up little monster.”

Damiano’s hand cups my face. And I don’t give even a single shit that his thumb is sticky with blood as it traces my jawline.

His eyes lance right into mine as his head slowly drifts side to side.

“You are many things, little nightmare,” he murmurs. “But you are not, nor will you ever be, a monster.”

His eyes darken, his jaw clenching as he jams a finger in Caleb's direction.

“He is. They are. But you and I?” He shakes his head. “We’re not monsters, baby. We’re the ones who slay the monsters.”

My face crumples as moisture beads in the corners of my eyes.

“I—I want him dead…” I choke out, my voice breaking. “I just…” I swallow hard. “I’ve killed so many people, Dame,” I whisper in a papery voice. “But I don’t know if I can kill him.”

Damiano’s expression softens as his thumb slowly strokes the pulse point just under my jawline. He leans forward, pressing his forehead to mine.