Page 210 of The Carnage We Keep

Jesus Christ, shoot me now.

I listen to the coffee brewing as I watch them do a weird synchronized dance in front of a camera on a tripod, like a lame attempt at a TikTok trend.

I make a mental note to ask Bella to stab me in the eye if I ever suggest something as cringe as this.

But I keep watching.

Their dance finishes, and the two of them crack up as Kylie rushes over to turn off the recording. She turns with her phone in her hand, giggling as Kyle jogs over, wraps his arms around her, and watches over her shoulder as she replays their routine.

The thing is, despite their Live-Laugh-Love energy and the general sentient wedding registry vibe they give off, Kyle and Kylie are adorable together.

I mean, cringy and lame, no question. But they’re also so disgustingly in love that it almost makes my teeth hurt.

They really do look good together, though. They look happy.

They look…yeah…in love.

My pulse ticks up a notch as a thought begins to form in my brain. But I shake it away and take out my phone to check the comments on the video I posted two days ago of a beached whale carcass exploding under the hot sun after bloating for a week.

Wow, that's nasty.

I grin and congratulate myself on another successful cultural contribution before I fill a large mug with coffee and head back upstairs.

Bella opens her eyes and gives me a sleepy smile as I step into the bedroom. Instantly her brows arch, an eager, hungry grin spreading over her lips as her gaze drops to my cock.

Her teeth rake over her lip as she just stares.

“I’d tell you to take a picture, it’ll last longer. But I’m afraid you will.”

She beams at me. “Good point. How do I not have a camera roll full of glamour shots of your gorgeous dick?”

I roll my eyes, feeling my face heat. “Okay, calm down.”

She giggles as she sits up in bed. “I’m sorry, but I just can’t! You’re like…” She groans as her eyes slide shamelessly over my naked body again. “I mean, I like you a whole fucking lot. You’re cool, and funny, and protective, and weird in a great way. Honestly, A-fucking-plus boyfriend.”

I smirk as I step closer to the bed. “We’re already married⁠—”

“Let me finish!” she giggles, dramatically stabbing a finger in the air. “Yes, you’re perfect in all those ways. But aside from all that?” She shamelessly eye-fucks me again as her teeth nip at her bottom lip. “Dude, you are stupid hot. Like unreasonably, outrageously so.”

“Jesus—”

Do you get hard for yourself? That’s a legitimate question.”

“That is the furthest thing from a legitimate question.”

“No, seriously, you could be all the way fucking straight…which byyy the way, pun intended, no one is. But even so, there’s no way you could look down at all this”…she sweeps her hand dramatically up and down my body…“looking like some kind of fucking AI-generated photofuckingshopped genetic perfection and not just get, like, the biggest boner for yourself.”

I laugh as I sit on the edge of the bed, then take a sip of coffee and pass her the mug.

“God, you are so fucking weird.”

“Love when you notice!” She winks at me. “See? A-plus boyfriend material.”

I roll my eyes and grin. Then I pluck the mug from her hands, set it on the bedside table, and lean close to her, kissing her softly, relishing the soft little moan she makes before I pull back.

A shadow flickers across her face.

“Don’t,” she whispers.