Page 91 of Outcast’s Return

“I don’t deserve your love.”

“Yes, you do,” Fabien replies. “You deserve the world.”

My throat is tight. My lips are cold.

“After what I did to you? After I made that stupid decision to send that email?”

His hand squeezes tighter. Our breathing mixes.

“You were only a teenager,” he says. “A scared, coerced teenager.”

“But I chose Father over you.”

“Yes, you did. And I hurt, Jolie. I was in pain for years and years, but I can see now they were years wasted. God, I understand loyalty. I understand it too well. I understand why you obeyed your father. You should have told me sooner, but why deny us love because of something that happened a long time ago? Why ruin the rest of our lives for a stupid teenage mistake?”

“Fabien, this is too good to be true.”

“It can be true, Angel.”

I don’t want to believe it. I can’t.

But then...

Hands accidentally brushing over a pen.

Loneliness in the middle of the night broken by the sight of a boy in the family kitchen.

An email pinging into my inbox when I was feeling low with the precise words needed to completely change my day as if he could read my mind.

“It’s too late for us,” I mutter. “Too late. This should’ve happened years ago. Not now. We’ve lost too much time.”

Fabien’s glare doesn’t waver.

“There’s always time,” he says. “There’s always a second chance.”

“But you... you hate me.”

“Stop saying that. We both know it’s not true.”

He’s so quiet now. So low. His words come from deep inside.

“I’ve heard you took a vow of abstinence,” I murmur.

“Yes, I did.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Because of you,” Fabien replies. “After you, I didn’t want anyone else. I didn’t need anyone else. You were everything, and you were gone. I knew I had lost my only love.”

“I hate you,” I sigh.

“No, you don’t.”

“I do, though,” I reply. “I hate you for knowing what I am thinking before I even open my mouth. I hate you for somehow still being the boy I fell in love with. I hate you for always being there for me and for making me feel safe. I hate you for making me feel so seen. I hate you, Fabien Cote.”

He nods slowly.

“Yeah, I know, but you also love me, don’t you? You made me the man I am today, Jolie. You brought out all the good parts of me, and I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m so, so sorry.”