Page 86 of Outcast’s Return
“And I said I didn’t believe you. I still don’t believe you, Fabien. I don’t think you hate me at all. I think it’s the opposite. I think it’s something we’ve both been avoiding, and now it’s tearing us apart.”
“I... I...”
“Say it now, Fabien. Say the truth.”
I pause.
Hesitate.
Not because I don’t know the words anymore, but because I know she’s right. Hate is a lie. Hate is merely my heart hurting. Hate is me wrestling with myself.
“I don’t hate you,” I say, throat tight. “I never could.”
Jolie goes quiet.
“You were the right man at the wrong time,” she says, her voice no louder than a confession in a silent old church. “I just wasn’t allowed to...”
“You really believe that?” I ask.
“Yes.”
Despite her words, she seems uncertain.
“I’ve felt so guilty, Fabien,” Jolie continues. “With everything. With this week.”
“Why would you feel guilty?”
“That I was gonna ruin the relationship with my brother over the man I love,” she says.
And with that one sentence, it’s like I’ve been hit by a truck.
My breath catches.
“The man you love?”
“Yes.”
“Me?”
“Who else do you think, Fabien?”
“But you ended it all,” I whisper. “You made that so fucking clear.”
Jolie sighs.
“Can’t you see, Fabien? You’re so smart, but you never got it. I’m not allowed to love you because of my family.”
Allowed?
I can’t think straight. Every rational thought abandons me. I’m running purely on instinct and emotion now.
“We could’ve worked around Clement,” I say. “We could’ve spoken to him and...”
Jolie cuts me off.
“But it wasn’t just him, Fabien,” she replies. “There was someone else. Someone who stopped it all and who made me send that email.”
The words take a moment to settle.
