Page 144 of Ashborne Phoenix

Burn It All Down

~ VOSKI ~

Time was a blur. I paced the sitting room until I had a tight rein on my emotions, then returned to Grace’s bedside. But I struggled to sit still, so paced back to the living area, cursing when messengers brought updates on the queen’s whereabouts—or rather, that she hadn’t yet been found.

I prayed she was somewhere, dead by that awful power rebound that had taken out so many. I wished she’d rot, and had to ask forgiveness. I couldn’t let myself give in to the dark.

By the third knock from a servant that had me almost jumping out of my leathers, I was linking with Kham again, just to absorb his calm.

‘Breathe, Voski.’

‘I want to.’

The fourth knock on the door had me cursing, but it was a young boy, shaking in his boots, never allowing his eyes to meet mine as he bowed before who he thought was the Cruor Dominus.

“My Lord… Sir… Your Majesty, the… the fold is gathered as you requested, Sire.”

Panic fluttered in my chest. I couldn’t leave Grace! But I was the one who’d ordered them to gather.

“Thank you,” I said tightly. “Please return and ask them to await my arrival. I have… pressing responsibilities. But I will come.” Eventually.

The boy bowed so low his nose almost brushed his knees, then he turned and sprinted down the hall, convinced no doubt that he had fled with his life.

Jittery, I told the guards not to allow anyone to the door unless it was life or death, and returned to Grace’s bedside.

‘Koa says she rests. Nothing changes in her,’ Kham offered kindly.

‘Please thank her.’ I took a deep, slow breath and exhaled heavily, dropping into the chair I’d pulled up next to the bed. I considered crawling onto the bed with her, curling around her as I had in those nights when she was so frightened after killing the man in the alley. But I feared putting any inadvertent pressure on her wound. And I’d wake her if I moved.

Should I just go now, while she slept so deeply? I could ask Kham to tell me the moment she woke. But what if something changed and Koa was too distant to sense the slight change in her? Or what if someone came looking for me, and took advantage of her vulnerability—

‘Perfect love drives out fear,’ Kham graveled in my head. ‘Give your heart to what is real, and true, and good, Voski, not to what might be.’

I wanted to chastise him, but as I turned that phrase over in my mind and looked at my sleeping mate, it occurred to me that this was why Grace was rarely afraid.

She loved so fully, it removed her fear.

I’d thought her reckless. I’d thought she was self-destructive. In truth, she’d merely been willing to trust.

And now… now she believed in me.

Whether I deserved it or not, it was the beautiful thing about her heart. And why I believed in her even more than myself.

I yearned to reach out and touch her, to hold her, but I didn’t want to wake her. Instead, I watched her chest rise and fall easily with her breath, and I pleaded with God for her life.

Please… save her. If blood is needed, if there’s a price to pay, give it to me. I’m the one who failed. I’m the one who feared. I’m the one who gave in to the dark and couldn’t see wisdom when it was given to me. Get her through this. Let her live. Take me, instead.

I went cold at the mental image of Grace left alone—vital, healthy, and grieving me. But even as that thought chilled me, it also raised a question.

We’d sat here for hours now. Grace asleep. Me distracted. The guards outside mere men. None were Cruors that I was aware of. Yet… no one had tried to take me out. No spells cast. No attacks.

Why would we be left alone now, when we were so weak?

Had that rebound truly burned out the Cruors’ power? ‘Do you know, Kham?’

‘Damage was done, there is no doubt. There were lives lost,’ he pointed out. ‘But I don’t believe their power has been removed. Wounded, perhaps, but not removed from those who insist on clinging to it. But they lack leadership.’

‘All the more reason someone should have come for me. If they still have power, why aren’t they attacking when I’m so weak?’