Page 77 of After the Abduction

“Or yours,” she said dryly.

Glancing back over his shoulder, he said softly, “People depend upon me here, Juliet. This isn’t just about Morgan, you know. I have duties and responsibilities. I couldn’t risk the future of Charnwood because I’d once fancied a pretty girl.”

When she went pale, he realized he shouldn’t have put it quite that baldly. But he stumbled on. “So I thought it best to leave it alone. And once I had Morgan to worry about again, too…Well, I couldn’t risk what you might do. Too much was at stake—my brother, my estate, my life.”

She stared at him uncertainly. “You’re risking all that now. Is it suddenly all right for you to fancy a pretty girl?”

He winced to hear her echo his rash comment. “Our bargain has lessened the risk considerably.” He stared back into the fire. “I trust you to hold to your part. You let me make love to you. I told you the truth. And now you’ll marry me, as we agreed. I know you, Juliet. You wouldn’t have come to my bed if you weren’t half ready to believe that I’d possessed a good reason for my actions.”

Juliet acknowledged to herself that he was right. She’d already guessed he was keeping the truth from her out of concern for what revenge she might take. It wasn’t much of a leap to hear he’d been doing so to protect his brother and his estate. And she’d already been leaning toward forgiving him entirely. She, of all people, could understand acting to protect one’s family.

But it stung to hear that while she’d been madly in love with him two years ago, he’d merely “fancied a pretty girl.” “You say it’s our bargain that made you decide upon marriage, but that’s not true. You began courting me shortly after we arrived here. It would have made more sense to ignore me and toss us out as soon as possible. Why, after all this time, did you want to marry me when it was such a risk?”

He shrugged. “I’m attracted to you.”

Her stomach tightened into a knot. “That won’t wash. By your own admission, you were attracted to me two years ago, yet you abandoned me then because of your concern for your family and your estate.” She fought past the pain digging into her heart. He’d chosen his responsibilities over her. It shouldn’t hurt, but it did.

A muscle worked in his jaw. “Everything is different now. Your reputation may be in jeopardy. I owe it to you to set things right.”

Drat his noble hide. She’d guessed it might be something perfectly respectable…and devoid of any affection. Swallowing her pain, she forced herself to speak lightly. “So you want to marry me to make up for the kidnapping. A sort of penance, is it?”

He shoved away from the fireplace, eyes alight as he stalked back toward the bed. “No. It’s not like that.”

“Isn’t it?” The raw hurt of unshed tears clogged her throat. “I don’t want to be only some onerous obligation to you.”

“You aren’t! I know you’ll make me a good wife, do your part in the marriage.”

“Wonderful. You’re choosing a wife rather like you pick a pistol. How flattering.”

“No, that’s not—Blast it, why must you twist this into some vulgar trade transaction! What the devil’s wrong with wanting to do the right thing by you?”

She tipped her head up proudly. “I’ll have you know I’m no longer some…some urchin who needs rescuing, either by you or by my family. I want to share my life with somebody who cares for me, not take the crumbs of a man who feels duty-bound to make amends for his mistakes.”

With a sigh, he sank onto the bed beside her and gathered her stiff, resisting body against his chest. “I’m not making myself very clear, am I?” Stroking her hair from her brow, he stared down into her eyes warmly. “I’ve been alone here for a long time, discontented with my existence without really knowing why. Then you came to shake everything up, and I realized what I’d been missing was you.”

She held her breath as the hurt subsided a little.

Idly, he wound a lock of her hair about his hand. “Don’t misunderstand me—I love Charnwood. I much prefer it to the crowds and nonsense of London.” He kissed the lock of hair. “But it’s empty and quiet and lonely. It needs a mistress. It needs children.”

Hardly daring to hope, she turned her face up to his. “And what about you? What do you need?”

“I need you,” he said simply. Then his mouth was on hers, tempting her with his need, sucking her under into that secret, intimate place where nothing mattered but him.

When he drew back, they were both gasping.

He held her so close she felt his heart pound. “This past week has been agony, knowing you were here but I couldn’t talk to you or touch you or kiss you. I stood outside your room every morning debating whether to tell you the truth.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I couldn’t stand the thought that you might push me away once you heard it.”

She snuggled up close to him. “I’m not pushing you away now.”

“No, thank God.” His hands stroked up and down her arms, dislodging the sheet. “I couldn’t bear it if you did.”

“So you must love me at least a little,” she whispered against his broad and very masculine chest.

He froze. Then he gently slipped from her embrace, holding himself apart from her. Obvious unease knit his brow into a frown. “Juliet, I…I do feel a great deal of affection for you. But don’t expect more than that from me. I’m not really a passionate person. It’s nothing to do with you. It’s just…how I am.” He flashed her a faint smile. “You weren’t far wrong when you thought me too dull and respectable for passion.”