Page 44 of Love Lessons for a Lady

A wave of dread sent a cold chill along her spine despite the day’s heat. Her two biggest fears, hardship and instability, had come to pass.

How had everything gone to Hades in a chamber pot so dashed quickly?

It hadn’t taken Chasity long to pack her possessions in her two valises. She’d left Balderbrook’s Institution for Genteel Ladies without telling anyone but Josie goodbye. The dear maid had sobbed and promised to present her letter of introduction at the Trentholms’ household that very day. She’d also had a few choice words about Mrs. Crenshaw's questionable parentage and a reference to the woman’s face resembling an old gander’s hind end.

Chasity was too hurt and humiliated to seek out anyone else to say farewell. In any event, Aston had still been sequestered in the headmistress’s office. Like an injured animal, she only wanted to escape and hide somewhere, nursing her wounds until she recovered.

She would recover.

She wasn’t so melodramatic as to believe otherwise. But it would take time—perhaps a great deal of time—and she would never be the same. Outwardly, she might appear healthy and whole, but inside, a terrible scar would remain.

Placing her trust in anyone from this point forward would not come easily either.

Aston’s betrayal stung the worst. Like a rusty blade plunged into her stomach and twisted over and over. The agony was so visceral, she pressed a palm to her belly. Except if she were entirely fair, she couldn’t even honestly call his actions a betrayal.

He’d merely told her he was resigning so that he could go to Italy.

Italy. So far, far away.

For how long?

Did it matter?

No. No, it did not. Not now.

A vice squeezed her heart, and an agonized sob lodged in her throat.

Tears burning behind her eyelids, Chasity forced herself to acknowledge she’d probably never see Aston again. Out of everything involved in this impossible tangle, that fact was the most painful. She hadn’t been able to bid him goodbye and Godspeed. To wish him success and a happy life.

She’d never look into those warm brown eyes and see his cocky grin. Enjoy the pleasure of seeing his masculine grace as he danced or listen to the lyrical tenor of his deep voice.

Was there any detail about Aston that hadn’t been carved into her memory?

Into her heart? Her very soul?

Even though she’d known nothing could come of her growing fascination with him, and their situation was impossible, she’d foolishly let Aston creep into her heart. Oh, it hadn’t been intentional. In fact, she fought her feelings with logic and reason and all manner of persuasive arguments.

In the end, all of her efforts to remain impassive and unaffected had all been for naught.

For it seemed the heart would have what the heart would have. Mayhap that was why so many scriptures cautioned one to guard one’s heart. No, those texts usually pertained to evil, not to love—to loving someone.

Love was the most glorious thing ever created. The sentiment changed one. Shaped and molded a person into someone they hardly recognized at times. A person who would willingly sacrifice anything and everything if they were loved so intensely in return.

Perchance that was the way it was with some women. They wanted what they couldn't have, and although the situation was hopeless, an irrational, foolish, gullible part of them still believed their love could conquer all. Mrs. Crenshaw was a perfect example of unrequited love, and look what her disappointment had caused her to do.

Except…that premise wasn’t entirely true.

A deficit in Mrs. Crenshaw’s character brought about her wicked decisions and schemes. Or a complete lack of morality and decency. Many people endured unreciprocated love and didn’t turn into corrupt criminals, willing to send an innocent person to prison to pay for the crimes the vile bounder had committed.

Swallowing the bitter lump of grief in her throat, Chasity touched a bent knuckle to the corner of her eye to catch an escaping droplet. The inside of her cheek would be chewed to ribbons before they reached London, and the school was a mere two miles outside the city.

Thank the Lord she’d been able to catch a ride into London with Gibney. He’d been sent to town for supplies and had gladly taken her aboard the wagon when she’d requested a ride. It would save her a good while walking and reserve her energy to find a place to stay tonight.

“It’s sorry I be to see ye leave the school, Miss Noble.” Gibney gave her a side-eyed look. He wouldn’t ask why she was leaving, but curiosity danced in his sympathetic blue eyes. “Ye were one of the kind ones. Ye and Mr. Terramier. Ye’ll be missed, that’s for sure.”

“Thank you,” Chasity whispered, certain he’d hear the heartbreak in her voice if she said anything more. Or that the tears she valiantly kept in check would spring forth, and she wouldn’t be able to stop sobbing.

In the end, kindness and decency hadn’t mattered. Honesty and integrity, faith and loyalty had been no match for wickedness and deceit.