Page 29 of Reckless Skye

‘Yup. I booked you a lesson with her,’ TJ said distractedly as he looked in his side mirror to check that the trailer was clear of the gate.

Skye stared at him while he navigated the truck and trailer through the ornate gate. A very real panic clawed its way through her chest and up her throat. It must have shown on her face, because the moment TJ saw her expression, he frowned. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘I don’t want to seem ungrateful …’

‘Okay—’

‘I’m not ready,’ she blurted. ‘It’ll be a complete waste of your friend’s time. And embarrassing for me.’ She gripped the inside handle of the door as if she could physically stop the truck from rolling down the long drive. ‘Oh, God.’

‘Skye—’

‘What are we gonna do?’

The truck stopped abruptly. ‘Skye,’ TJ said gently but firmly, ‘look at me.’

It took a few seconds for the words to register through her anxiety, but when they did, she forced her gaze to his.

‘What’s going on here?’

‘I’m not good enough to do this yet,’ she explained.

‘I hate to break it to you,’ he said, leaning close and lowering his voice as if to tell her a secret, ‘but that’s kinda implied. It’s a lesson. By definition, she’s supposed to teach you.’

Skye wasn’t sure how to explain to TJ, who was obviously so perfect at everything, that she … well, wasn’t. She had to work really hard at most things she did, and she always fell short. Just thinking about trying to run the barrel pattern had Holden’s voice echoing in her head, his routine You’re simply going to have to do better, Skye sounding over and over in that disappointed tone, as if she’d disgraced him past redemption.

It hadn’t mattered what it was – school exams, piano recitals, luncheons – Holden would judge her performance and find her lacking. As a child, she’d worked harder. She’d thought that if she could only be better, he would be proud of her.

So, she’d studied until she’d fallen asleep with her books on her bed, prompting Holden to call her a slob. She’d practised piano until her fingers had cramped, and after her recital, when she’d known she’d delivered a technically flawless performance, and she’d walked off the stage, her chest full of hope and pride, he’d said her performance had lacked passion. She’d opted to be silent at social gatherings, because it was easier to not do anything wrong when you didn’t do anything at all, only to have Holden criticize her for being unable to hold a conversation.

She couldn’t say any of that to TJ, so settled on, ‘What if I do it wrong?’

‘Oh, you’re one hundred per cent going to do it wrong,’ he said confidently. ‘Probably hundreds of times. And if you don’t, Smokey sure as hell will.’

Skye buried her head in her hands. ‘Oh my God, you’re right. We can’t do this.’

‘Hey.’ When Skye didn’t move, TJ softened his voice, urged, ‘Give me those blue eyes.’

She lifted her head again, barely.

‘I told her you’re a beginner. If she even brings the barrels out, it’ll be to walk the pattern or for her to demonstrate something. Okay?’

Skye managed a shaky nod.

‘Why are you freaking out now? You were fine on our ride earlier …’

‘That was different. You were fixing a fence. All I had to do was ride out there with you and watch. There were no expectations.’

‘There are no expectations from anybody now either.’ He tipped his head. ‘Except you apparently.’

‘Making me humiliate myself on our first date isn’t exactly what I had in mind,’ she whispered.

‘Me neither. In fact, why don’t you ask me: TJ, why did you organize a barrel lesson for our first date?’

‘No. Because you’re going to say something ridiculous to try and make me laugh, and I don’t want to laugh right now.’

‘Come on, Skye … Ask me. You know you want to.’

She sighed, but she made it long-suffering. ‘TJ, why did you organize a barrel lesson for our first date?’