Page 73 of Center Sneak

“Isn’t apple pie everyone’s favorite Thanksgiving dessert?” she says in a nonchalant tone that makes me believe that she, in fact, did know it was my favorite.

“Maybe. But maybe I have a different favorite Thanksgiving dessert.” I waggle my eyebrows at her, and her cheeks blush at my innuendo, which gives me hope that we will be okay.

Chapter Thirty-Five

Scarlett

Iwake up in a panic.

My heart is beating rapidly, and my sheets are drenched in sweat.

It was just a nightmare.

I have to remind myself that I am fine. I am safe.

“Hey, are you okay?” a groggy voice beside me asks.

Cal.

I sit up straight and glance out the large window to my right. It’s still dark, but there’s a soft light coming from the side of the bed.

I take in my surroundings. The bed is larger with his light blue bedsheets, and the room is triple the size of mine.

My head is pounding, but I can’t help asking, “You sleep with a night-light?”

Cal shrugs in response. “Hey, even us big guys can be scared of monsters,” he says with a quirk of his lips.

I huff out a small laugh as he sits up straight beside me. Both our heads are leaned against his dark brown upholstered headboard.

I lay still, willing my heartbeat to get under control.

“You had a nightmare?” Calvin says a few minutes later, breaking the silence.

“Yup.”

“They happen often?”

“N-n-no,” I stammer out. “Not for a while,” I admit. It’s been a few years, actually, for the nightmares, at least.

To be honest, I thought I was doing okay, but last night was a lot for me.

My reaction to Cal’s attempt to comfort me surprised me as well.

I thought I was fine. I was okay. I could do this. But maybe my brain is trying to tell me something.

“I’m not ready,” I whisper in the dark to the man beside me.

It was stupid of me to try for something more. I should have stuck to the new experience and new friends plan, but I got too ahead of myself. I moved too fast; now look where I am.

I feel him stiffen, but he remains silent, albeit with a small nod.

“I thought I was…but…” I bury my face in my hands. “It’s clear that I’m not. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be.”

My ex did a number on me. I have serious trust issues, and I’m not sure if I’ll ever heal even though Cal may think otherwise.

I can’t even muster the courage to share what I’ve been through. Why did I think I could handle something, anything with a man?

At the foundation, I see day in and day out what it’s like for the multitude of women we help. Men suck.