Page 3 of On You 2

My baby was on a breathing machine? This could not be life right now.

My knees gave out from under me, and the last thing I remembered was the sound of my mama yelling my name before everything around me went completely black.

Chapter 2

Hov

After everything settled down, I found myself standing near one of the hospital windows looking out into the parking lot.

The truth was, I didn't know what the fuck to think right now.

RJ was lying in a hospital bed hooked up to a ventilator and Crew was somewhere outside pissed off at me because Jasmine had just dropped a bomb in the middle of everyone’s life. Even now, the one person I found myself worrying about the most was Ciara.

Maybe it was because I knew she was hurting and wasn't the type to make a scene about it.

When I finally turned away from the window, I spotted her sitting by herself near the far end of the lobby. She had moved away from by my grandma and Faith because I'm sure she probably wanted to be alone. Faith was sleeping in my grandma’s arms because if not, she would've most likely wanted me. Being a parent never seems to cut off. Not even when you going through some of the worst shit.

Everybody else was focused on Jasmine and her family, but Ciara looked like she was stuck inside her own thoughts at the moment.

I walked over and sat in the chair beside her.

For a little while neither one of us said anything. She kept her eyes forward while I tried figuring out how to start a conversation that no husband should ever have to start.

"You, okay, mama?" I finally asked.

Ciara laughed softly through her nose and shook her head.

"Hov, a woman just stood in the middle of a hospital and told me her son might belong to my husband. How okay do you think I am right now?"

I couldn't even be mad at her smart ass response. I deserved that shit.

She folded her hands together in her lap before finally looking over at me.

"The crazy part is that I don't even know what emotion I'm supposed to focus on. One minute I'm worried about RJ because that little boy is back there fighting for his life. The next minute I'm thinking about you and Jasmine. Then I start feeling guilty because RJ should be the only thing I'm thinking about right now. This is just a lot."

I listened quietly because she wasn't saying anything wrong.

"If it means anything, I promise that I didn't know about him."

"I know you didn't know Hov."

Her response came without hesitation.

"If you thought there was even a chance that little boy belonged to you, Jasmine would've been sick of seeing your face years ago. You would've been checking on him every day, making every birthday special, every Christmas. Up in her face every scraped knee because you hate for your babies to get hurt. That's just who you are."

The fact that she still knew me well enough to say that made me feel even worse.

"But Hov, can I be honest about something?"

"Always, baby.”

"It hurt hearing about him potentially being yours for a different reason."

She looked down at her hands.

"Not because I think you're lying. Not because I think you're sneaking around with Jasmine now. It just reminded me that there was a part of your life that happened before me and a part that I can’t say I built with you."

I stayed quiet.